


Two corpses we were, two corpses I saw

by chaoticcollectorchaos_me



Series: 26,000 days [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt Tony Stark, Iron Man 3 AU, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), Presumed Dead, Protective Steve, Superhusbands, Tony Stark has PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2020-06-23 20:35:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19708939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticcollectorchaos_me/pseuds/chaoticcollectorchaos_me
Summary: Against all odds, Steve and Tony found each other. Now they must do whatever it takes to stay together even when death do them part.Iron Man 3 AU.





	1. I have never known peace, like the damp grass that yields to me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys, welcome to my MCU denial fest where I rewrite the MCU so they're even more Stony-centric than they actually were and to help me through the five stages of grief I'm still experiencing after watching Endgame.
> 
> I'm still on stage 1. I don't know if I'll ever get to stage 5. I don't actually know if I want to. 
> 
> In keeping with the Hozier song title theme, the title for this fic is from the song 'In A Week'. It's a beautiful song. Give it a listen!

_London, Christmas Eve, 1943_

“Merry Christmas, Natasha,” Steve murmured softly. It had been a great day with he and the rest of the Commandos miraculously getting a 24-hour leave just in time for Christmas. And who better to celebrate this one day of freedom with than with his love? 

They were ensconced in Natasha’s (their’s, to be precise) room in the barracks, drinking flat champagne and eating canned sardines Steve pilfered from the mess hall. It wasn’t the Christmas Eve celebration Steve envisioned or even wanted for Natasha, but they were in a war and beggars couldn’t be choosers. The fact that they were able to be together on this day was a miracle in and of itself. Steve would take what he could get. War has taught him the fragility of a moment and how easy it was for everything to fall apart. 

“ _Fröhliche Weihnachten_ , Steve,” Natasha clinked their glasses together, it always pleased Steve whenever she spoke German, a sign that she was comfortable enough to share a remnant of her past with him, “Here’s to many more Christmases to celebrate with you.” Natasha looked beautiful tonight, her amber eyes warm with contentment. Brown hair tied back in a loose braid that she swept over to her left shoulder, wearing one of Steve’s Army issue shirts and lounge pants. She had been overworking herself, as usual, Steve thought ruefully, the bags under her eyes a testament to the fact. Steve had to carry her out of her lab, not that she minded, and promised her increasingly tawdry sexual favors to get her to take a break at least for the night. 

“I’m sorry that this is all I could do for you. You deserve a better Christmas celebration. Better than flat champagne and some smoked fish from the SSR mess hall.” Steve muttered despondently. He felt Natasha touched her hand, taking the champagne glass out of his hand and placing it on the table next to him. 

“Steve, we could be celebrating Christmas at a foxhole in the Eastern front right now and I would be happy with it. As long as I’m celebrating it with you, I don’t care about anything else.” Natasha said, then seeming to rethink her words she added, “well actually, spending Christmas Eve at a foxhole would be awful. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.” 

Steve laughed at that and brought her hand, the one in his hold up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles reverently, “Think we’ll ever get to celebrate Christmas like a civilian? A huge Christmas tree in the corner with presents underneath, lazing about at home with the fireplace roaring in the background, some slow music playing on the record. We could finally have our first dance.” 

Natasha opened her mouth to answer him but something stopped her. The happiness in her eyes dimmed slightly before she gave Steve a tremulous smile, “Yeah, darling. We will someday. I’ll play something slow so you won’t step on my feet.” She seemed far away, as if reassuring herself of the truthfulness of her words. 

“Come on, Tasha. I’m not that bad,” Steve joked, “the serum would help me learn the steps.” 

“I’m not taking any chances, have you seen how big your feet are? One giant stomp from and I might not walk again for the rest of my life.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve rolled his eyes fondly. The light in her eyes was back which Steve was grateful for. Lately he’d been noticing how easily her moods shifted, one second happy then the next some words or some gesture would take away from her playful countenance. He tried to talk to her about it, but Natasha just shook her head and kissed him softly, whispering softly that everything was fine, yes everything was fine. It pained Steve to see her so troubled, even more so when it was trouble he couldn’t punch in its face or knock down with his shield. 

His missions were nearing its end. He and the Howling Commandos have successfully dismantled HYDRA strongholds and disrupted their weapon supply lines, decimating them to utter destruction with no hope of rebuilding. They were so close to the finish line. The rest of their lives together could finally begin, something Steve coveted from the moment they met. He wanted it all. The quiet, peaceful celebrations. Building a family and growing old together. He thought of his mother’s wedding ring hidden amongst his personal effects, the one he held on to despite the sickness, hunger and poverty that plagued him, because he wanted to give it to the right partner. When the time was right, Steve would present it to her, asked her the question and spend the rest of his life devoted to her. 

“Tasha,” he started again, “I promise you someday we’ll get that life. I won’t rest until we do.”

“And I’ll keep fighting beside you, Steve. Together.” 

* * *

_Malibu, California, December 2013_

_Darkness. Pitch black darkness surrounded him, then a flash of light and Tony saw himself inside the Iron Man suit, floating in space. In front of him the most grotesque sight greeted him. An army, an alien army, poised and ready to devour everything that stood in its way was in front of Tony. Belatedly, Tony realized he was carrying a nuclear warhead, one that the World Security Council callously launched at the citizens of New York to contain the invasion._

_Tony let go of the missile, watching with detached awe as the explosion decimated the alien brigade. It was a beautiful sight, Tony thought, a destruction that would preserve the human race. When would the killing stop, he wondered idly._

_Below him the portal started to close. Tony started to fell backwards, gravity doing what it was supposed to do. He hoped he could reach the portal before it closed completely, before the blowback swallowed him completely, but physics accepted no bargain. The speed at which he was falling was slower than the rate of portal closure, he wouldn’t make it._

_Steve had said it was a one way trip. Steve would know all about the sacrifice play, he’d done it before, sacrificed himself for the people of New York. Huh, what a pair they made. Die hard New Yorkers. Get it? Insert self-deprecating chuckle here._

_Tony’s last thought before two tons of atomic bomb blowback engulf him was that he didn’t get to kiss Steve goodbye._

  
  


Tony woke up with a horrified gasp. His amber eyes flickered back and forth, trying to take in his surrounding though in his panicked and frightened state of mind he couldn’t register anything too much. JARVIS’ soothing baritone immediately filled the air. 

“Sir, it is now six AM in the morning. You are currently in Malibu, California. The weather today is a balmy seventy-three degrees Fahrenheit and it is predicted to be a sunny day today.” 

“Thank you, JARVIS.” Tony sighed in relief. He blinked his eyes again, adjusting to the dim lights JARVIS must have put on to alleviate Tony’s fear (no, not fear. Aversion) of the darkness. It was Winter in California, or whatever passed as Winter in a state like California, the skies were still dark outside, dark enough for Tony to make out some faint twinkles of the stars. Tony’s hand fell on the other side of the bed, untouched and tidy as the person who usually occupied it was away on a mission in South America. 

Tony was torn between relief and sadness at the fact that Steve was away from home. On one hand, he was glad that his lover wasn’t here to witness another pathetic episode of Tony having nightmares, yet at the same time he longed for those warm arms to comfort him. Steve’s deep baritone soothing him, telling him that it was just a dream, the beat of Steve’s heart assuring Tony that he was real and that he was here with Tony and that he wouldn’t let anything hurt Tony anymore. Not the invading aliens, not the terrorists that waterboarded him, not HYDRA. Nothing would get past Steve. 

It’s a miracle that he had been able to hide these episodes from Steve. He had always sleep better when Steve was with him. Making love with Steve was a mind blowing, passionate, love-fest that always left Tony boneless and sated to the point where he would fall into a dreamless sleep. If they didn’t have some fun before falling asleep, he would always be comforted by Steve’s arms around him, or by wrapping himself around Steve like an insanely codependent octopus. That’s usually enough to keep the nightmares at bay. Having Steve’s presence permeated his every sense did wonders for Tony’s trauma. 

He knew he should be talking to someone about this. But there was no one in Tony’s life that he felt comfortable enough to talk about his _weakness_ with. Pepper wouldn’t understand, she’s a civilian and anyway, she has more than enough on her plate. She was now CEO of Stark Industries and she and Happy had just started dating. Pepper’s life was finally not one giant circus-show courtesy of Tony and Tony wasn’t about to rain on her parade by talking to her about his stupid problems. 

Rhodey...would understand. He’s a soldier, he’s seen war. He would rightfully pinpoint what Tony’s experiencing as PTSD. His best friend had been trying to get Tony to talk to someone, a psychiatrist, a trained professional well equipped to deal with issues like these but the thought of baring his soul to some stranger was just overwhelming for Tony. It would make him too vulnerable, and he wasn’t about to become vulnerable in front of some stranger. There’s a reason why he built himself a suit of armor after Afghanistan and redemption was just one of them. 

He supposed he could talk to Steve. Steve, more than anyone, would have understood what Tony was going through. Steve would listen, would lend a helping hand, wouldn’t push him to talk to anyone he’s not comfortable talking to. Steve would take it upon himself to battle Tony’s demons for him and that-- that was why Tony stayed mum about his problems. Steve had been adjusting beautifully to the 21st century. After the two year stumbling block when they were estranged from each other, Steve seemed to be keeping apace with the changes that was now part of his daily life. Tony liked to think that him being by Steve’s side was helping with his adjustment. Steve still had nightmares and bad days, though the frequency seemed to lessen as the months went by. He wasn’t the same Steve that Tony knew in 1942, the ice nap had ensured that, but he seemed happier, less troubled than the first time Tony saw him all those months ago on the Helicarrier. Steve seemed to enjoy this life that they have together, the easy coexistence they had, how they seemed to fill each other’s empty spaces, making each other happy and content with each passing day that they would wake each other up with loving caresses and kisses. 

And Tony wasn’t about to ruin it with a sob story about how he wasn’t able to sleep because had a nightmare. Or nightmares and panic attacks, to be exact. He’s not going to be the one who destroyed Steve’s happiness. He was going to be the one who guarded it. 

Shaking his head in exasperation, Tony slid out of bed knowing he wouldn’t be able to get more sleep. He should be downstairs in the workshop anyway, there were still plenty of things to do before Steve came home on Friday, and Tony wanted to make as much headway as he could so he could spend the rest of the weekend in Steve’s arms, reveling in his presence, soaking up all the love Steve send his way and making good memories for their first Christmas together. His latest project, retrofitting the armor so it would seamlessly wrap itself around Tony when summoned, was going well. Just a few more adjustments and it would be ready for its first trial flight soon. 

As for his other project, the one he started since he had his recurring nightmares all those months ago, well that’s another story. 

* * *

Steve drove his motorcycle up the winding road leading up to Tony’s Malibu mansion. When Tony said that he needed to go back to California, because that was where he actually lived, it was no question that Steve would be following him there. There was nothing keeping him in New York, sadly, and there was no way in hell he would be living clear across the country from his partner. 

So Steve went to California with Tony. Tony’s Malibu mansion was a wonder, and frankly, it suited Tony to the tee. It’s as if the architect took every aspect of Tony’s personality and created a building out of it. When Steve imagined how people would live in the future, Tony’s Malibu mansion was what he envisioned. The clean, simplistic style with ample lighting and understated luxury screamed future, technological advancement and progress. In short, it was a beautiful house, an extension of Tony and it was clear that Tony loved the house which only made Steve adored the house even more. 

He had been away for ten days. Ten excruciating days away from Tony. He knew that back during the war they would be separated for weeks at a time during missions. Hell, their relationship started as a two-year long distance relationship. One would think they would be used to separations by now, but no, it just made them hate being separated even more. 

As Steve revved up the engine to drive faster to the mansion, he remembered one Christmas a long time ago where he managed to get a 24 hour leave pass and spent his first and only Christmas with Natasha. He remembered the promise they made to each other about celebrating Christmas like civilians, like normal people who didn’t have to worry about the specter of war and not having the weight of the world on their shoulders. Steve idly wondered if Tony still remembered that he promised Steve a dance and that he’d make it a slow one. 

It was a silly memory but one that Steve still clung to as it helped him remember that there was a purpose to everything he did. And now with him and Tony finally having a live together and on the verge of celebrating their first Christmas together, he couldn’t help but think about that day so long ago when the thought of spending the rest of his life with Tony first occurred to him. 

When he got to the mansion, the sight that greeted him was peculiar to say the least. There was a giant stuffed pink bunny wearing a Captain America costume on the front yard. Around its neck was a heart shaped pendant that proclaimed ‘Merry Christmas Steve’. Steve gingerly parked his motorcycle next to one of Tony’s numerous Audis and dismounted, looking at the giant stuffed animal in amusement. 

Steve wryly shook his head at Tony’s antics. His love had an odd way of showing his affection that was for sure, but Steve couldn’t deny that he found it endearing. Tony showed his affections through his actions and through his words, rare as they were. One would need to read between the lines to decipher what he meant, but Steve never doubted the sincerity of his love and affection for Steve. Every time Tony looked at him or smiled at him, Steve could feel it as surely as he could feel the beat of his own heart. 

He stepped inside the mansion with JARVIS greeting him, “Welcome home, Captain Rogers. I trust the mission went well.” 

“Thank you, JARVIS. It’s good to be home,” Steve greeted back. It still amazed him after all these months living with Tony just how lifelike JARVIS sounded. Another testament to the genius of Tony Stark, “It went as well as we would have expected.” Which was to say it went to shit in the first five minutes, but Steve wasn’t a master strategist for nothing. 

“Tony? Sweetheart, I’m home,” Steve started walking to the living room, calling out to the seemingly empty mansion, “Sorry, I was a bit late. The STRIKE team had a bit of a confusion when I told them to drop me off in Malibu, I didn’t mean for them to literally to drop me off the plane above Malibu, but here we are. Where is he, JARVIS?” 

But before JARVIS could answer, he spotted Tony in the Iron Man armor sitting on one of the couches in the living room. 

“Hey, there you are,” Steve smiled as he walked to his lover, pressing a gentle kiss to the armor’s forehead. Boy, if Bucky could see him now, kissing a robot all domestic-like. 

“Hi, honey. Welcome home! Like your Christmas present?” 

“It’s certainly grand. A grand gesture.” Steve answered diplomatically, “Gonna be hard to top that. How are we going to fit it in the house?” 

“Uhh, I got a couple guys coming tomorrow. They’re gonna blow out that wall to make room for the bunny.” Tony waved at the wall nearest to his mother’s grand piano. 

“Okay…” Steve trailed off, inwardly hoping that Tony wasn’t really going to demolish a wall just to bring a stuffed animal inside, “By the way, why are you wearing the armor in the house? Is this a new one?” Steve took in the design. It was sleek, much more sleek than the one he had encountered in the Battle of New York and with more golden tone. 

“Uh huh. Yep. Mark 42.” 

Forty-two. That meant Tony had made forty-two whole new suits since Steve left ten days ago. That’s...troubling. 

“And we’re wearing it around the house now? Should I start wearing my armor instead of civvies around the house too?” Steve asked, dropping down on the couch to sit next to Tony. 

“You know I wouldn’t say no to that, hot stuff. Definitely not gonna say no if you want to wear the Stealth suit to bed. Especially now that I’ve overhauled your whole catalog. The suits are doing your ass justice. ” 

Steve rolled his eyes at Tony’s words, “The old one did it justice just fine, Tony. You couldn’t stop looking at them even when you were pissed at me when we first met.”

“They always did say there’s a fine line between love and hate.” 

“Speaking of love, when do I get to see your beautiful face? I’ve been missing you, fella,” Steve turned to the armor, voice turning low and husky, “I really want to kiss you, Tony.” 

“Uh, um,” Tony stammered, “You could just kiss me through the mouth slit, y’know.” 

Steve eyed him suspiciously. Tony never, _never_ , turned down a kiss from him. “That so? Well, I suppose I can just flip open the mask with my superstrength to see your sweet face inside that armor, can’t I?” 

“Uhhhhh…” Tony stammered. 

Steve sighed loudly and got off the couch, marching downstairs towards Tony’s workshop. 

“I wouldn’t do that, babe. There’s a radiation leak downstairs. JARVIS, tell ‘im!” 

“I have the serum. I’ll take my chances.” 

“Except, except! It’s super not safe, Steve, plum pudding, light of my life. We wouldn’t wanna go through the whole Hulk-creating radiation shebang thing now, would we?” 

“Nothing’s gonna happen, Tony. Because nothing’s going on in your workshop except you sending an empty suit to greet me when I come home.” Steve slammed the door of the workshop open to find Tony sitting on his work desk with a console that seemed to be controlling the Mark 42 armor that had been following Steve from the living room. 

“Oops. Busted.” Tony said lamely. 

“That’s putting it lightly.” Steve crossed his arms in front of his chest, a stern expression on his face. 

“Sorry, babe.” Tony said sheepishly. 

Steve sighed and stepped further into the room, noting the plethora of Iron Man suits of different paints and designs in the platforms surrounding Tony’s workshop and garage, suits that didn’t exist before Steve left on his mission ten days ago, “Tony, you know this isn’t healthy. When was the last time you sleep?” 

Tony started to answer, before Steve amended the question, “Scratch that. JARVIS, when was the last time Tony slept?” 

“The last time Sir went into REM cycle was seventy-two hours ago, Captain.” 

“Traitor,” Tony muttered under his breath. 

Steve shook his in disappointment, “Honey, you’re not sleeping, all because you have this-- this obsession with building the suits. And I don’t understand, Tony. Please, just talk to me. Help me understand why you have to do this. Please don’t shut me out.” Steve pleaded with his lover.

Tony exhaled heavily, slumping back in his chair. Steve walked up to him and gently placed his hands on either side of Tony’s face, tilting that beloved face back up at him. Tony looked exhausted, there were dark circles under his eyes that belied the fact that he hadn’t slept in seventy two hours. Steve’s heart clenched at the sight of his beloved clearly suffering and mentally he berated himself for not noticing sooner. Tony placed his own hands on top of Steve’s, gripping them desperately as if he was afraid Steve would leave at the first sign of trouble. 

If not even death could separate them, then nothing would. 

“I'm a piping hot mess. It's been going on for a while, I haven't said anything.” Tony whispered, encouraged by the soft caresses from Steve on his cheekbones, “Nothing’s been the same since New York.” 

“I notice.” 

“It’s not just that we found each other, you know? Although that’s an amazing, life-altering event on its own, but I also-- I experienced things and then they're over and you still can't explain 'em. Gods, aliens, other dimensions. I...I'm just a man in a can, Steve. The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably because you moved in. Which is great. I love you, so much. I'm the luckiest man on Earth. But, Steve, I can't sleep. You go to bed or go on a mission and I come down here. I do what I know, I tinker.” Tony paused, catching his breath. His amber eyes wild with undisguised emotions, not all of them good. He looked scared, like he’d seen a ghost, “But threat is imminent, and I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without and that's you. My suits, they're uh...they’re an extension of me. And building them, working on them makes me feel better. Makes me feel like I’m doing something to protect you.” 

“What did you see when you were up there, Tony?” Steve asked him. It was something that he had been dying to know, because he knew Tony saw something up there. The look in his eyes when he first came to among the rubbles on the streets of New York was one Steve recognized and knew all too well: the gaze of a soldier who had seen something troubling, something that would haunt them for the rest of their lives, leaving them shell-shocked. There was no doubt in his mind that Tony was going through the same thing and Steve hated that he was helpless in the face of such trauma. 

Tony shook his head, burying it in Steve’s chest, unwilling to speak more about the nightmare that has been haunting him, “Shh, shh,” Steve soothed, “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now, but when you’re ready, I’m here for you. Alright?” He felt Tony nodded in assent, still hiding his face in Steve’s chest. Steve carded his strong fingers through his messy mop, offering comfort and companionship to Tony. 

God, he loved Steve so much. He didn’t know what he would do if something were to happen to him. They had just found each other again, for God’s sakes. It would be too cruel of the Fates to have them separate again so soon. Tony would rather watch the whole world burn down in flames than to lose Steve. He refused to live in a world without Steve again. 

“Come upstairs?” Steve asked him again, “we can get pizza and watch that terrible romance movie about us that got everything, except our name, wrong? You can mock them and throw as much popcorn at the screen as you want.” 

Tony smiled up at him, “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

Steve leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on Tony’s lips. It was only meant to be a peck, but days of separation led to the kiss being deeper and more passionate than intended. Tony whimpered at the kiss and clung to Steve, hard and not letting go of him. Steve carried them upstairs, not breaking their kiss the whole way, even as they head to the bedroom and laid Tony down on their bed. 

They never did watch the movie that night. They made love to the wee hours of the morning, Tony gasping, out of breath and overwhelmed at the sensations that wrecked his body. Steve covered his body with his own strong body, protecting him from his monsters and the nightmares. Tony could sleep now, Steve’s finally home and save with him. 

* * *

_Darkness._

_An army, an alien army, poised and ready to devour._

_A nuclear weapon aimed. A nuclear weapon that failed to detonate._

_An alien army swooping down on him, the weak human in a tin can._

_The gaping maw of the Leviathan as it devoured Tony whole was the last thing he saw._

“Tony! Tony! Tony! Wake up, Tony! It’s just a dream!” Steve was roused awake by the shaking and the whimpers he could feel coming from Tony. Next to him, Tony was curled up on his side, still nude from their love making and his face contorted in misery. Steve tried to wake him up, to shake his lover out of his nightmare by shouting at him. He had learned the hard way not to touch anyone who was battle trained during the throes of nightmare. But Tony wasn’t waking up, and Steve couldn’t bear to see him suffer longer. 

He shook Tony awake, hoping to spare him the pain of nightmares. Tony woke up and with him waking up, the mark 42 that previously greeted Steve on his arrival home was suddenly in his face, grabbing his throat and pinning him down to bed, a sentinel guarding Tony against any and all threats. 

“Power down!” Tony shouted. The suit powered down, its trademark blue light going black and Tony hurried to his side, knocking the suit away from Steve. Steve sat up gingerly, rubbing his throat to ease the bruising left by the armor’s grip, though undoubtedly the serum was already working to heal him by now. 

“Steve, oh my God! Are you okay?” Tony started fussing over him, touching him to make sure he was okay. 

“I’m fine, Tony.” Steve assured him, though Tony didn’t seem mollified by it. “I must have called it in my sleep. That's not supposed to happen. I'll recalibrate the sensors. Can we just...just let me...just let me catch my breath, okay?” 

“Okay, okay, Tony. Settle down, sweetheart, settle down,” Steve placate him, gently pulling Tony to him, wrapping him up in an embrace. 

“Don’t go, okay, Steve? Please, don’t go.” Tony muttered to his chest, he sounded so small and unsure of himself. It pained Steve to see him in such obvious distress. 

“No, Tony, never. I’ll never let you go.” Steve whispered in his ears a sacred vow that he intended to keep from now until the day he died. 

  
  
  
  



	2. A thousand teeth, and yours among them I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the order of the scenes are a bit messed up, but I haven't seen IM3 in a while and I tried to write Chapter 1 from memory and it turned out that the events in this chapter actually happened first. Oh well, it's my fic and it's an AU, I can do what I want lol
> 
> I feel it works better this way, no?

Happy waited patiently in the waiting room outside of Pepper’s office for his turn to speak with the CEO, fiddling with the tablet in his hand in the meantime. His promotion from Tony’s chauffeur/bodyguard was exhilarating to say the least, and it wasn’t because he wouldn’t have to deal with Tony’s shenanigans anymore, not that there were many these days. Being in a relationship with Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, was doing wonders for Tony’s impulsivity. The promotion also gave Happy the courage and the confidence to finally ask Pepper out and to his amazement she said yes to dinner and yes to the many, many dinner that followed suit and now here they were. CEO and Head of Security, power couple if anyone ever saw one. 

Pepper’s meeting ended, and she and her guest walked out of her office to the waiting room where he and Bambi Arbogast, Pepper’s executive assistant, was waiting to escort the guest to the elevator. Pepper’s face lit up when she saw him waiting outside. Happy still couldn’t believe that he got to call this beautiful, amazing woman his girlfriend. 

“Happy, hi! What’s--what’s going on? Oh no, did I forget our lunch date again?” Pepper looked stricken, she had been working overtime recently. She and Tony had been dealing with the fallout of the Chitauri Invasion in New York, renovating Stark Tower and setting up the newly-minted Department of Damage Control to handle the rebuilding and clean up efforts. It was safe to say that Pepper had a lot on her plate lately and stolen moments during the work days together were often times all Happy could get with her. 

“No, no. You didn’t forget anything. Although we do have dinner scheduled tonight, so I just want to make sure you don’t forget.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Pepper assured him, smiling that kind smile of hers that never failed to make Happy’s heart beat faster. 

“Great, that’s-- that’s great. Oh, so what I wanted to talk to you about was some of my ideas to make this building safer.” Pepper’s face fell, she’s now wearing her polite press smile, the one she used when she was about to deny someone what they wanted. 

“Hear me out,” Happy started his pitch, “as you well know, being the smart and capable woman that you are,” Pepper pursed her lips in amusement, “that the weakness of any processes can be traced back to the human factor. And in this discussion, the process is the security of our building and the humans are our employees. Now, I’ve been working hard to remind people that they need to be wearing their badges at all times. I see that you aren’t actually wearing yours at the moment…” Happy trailed off and Pepper shot him an annoyed look, “but that’s a discussion for another day. But what I’m actually proposing is to reduce that risk of security breach by reducing the amount of humans milling around this building on any given day.” 

“What? Happy, what are you talking about?” 

“I propose we replace the whole janitorial staff with the Iron Man armors Tony have been building. He has dozens of ‘em just sitting in his workshop in the basement wearing party hats and covered in streamers. I hope it’s not a sex thing between him and Captain Rogers...but you never know with Tony…anyway, this is an an asset we can utilize, Pepper.”

Bambi went back to her desk after escorting Pepper’s previous guest, and seeing her without her badge, Happy pointed at her indicating his displeasure which Bambi just sidestepped with a roll of her eyes. 

“Happy, I’m gonna stop you right there,” Pepper immediately cut in, “You’ve been doing...well... as the new Head of Security. Making sure people have their badges and such...” 

“Thank you.” Happy preened. 

"And I appreciate that. However, since you’ve taken up this post, the employee complaints have risen 300%. I think you need to ease up a bit on that.” Pepper finished. 

“Oh, thank you!” 

“Honey, that’s not a compliment.” 

“It is to me! Clearly someone’s trying to hide something, Pep. It could be a potential security breach.” 

“Happy, no. Just-- please promise you’ll ease up on the badge thing. We can talk about this later. At dinner, if you want.” Pepper started walking back to her office, Happy following suit. 

“Well, no. I’d rather be talking about other stuff with you during dinner.” Happy responded, “like the ski lodge in Vail I already booked for Christmas trip.” 

“That’s nice, Happy” Pepper smiled at him, their first Christmas trip together was something she was looking forward to. Bambi approached them and informed them that Pepper’s one o’clock appointment was waiting for her in her office. 

“Who’s your one o’clock? Did you clear this with me?” Happy asked again. 

“Happy, later please. Let me deal with this really annoying thing.” 

“What? Who?” 

“I used to work with him, and he used to ask me out all the time. So it's a little awkward.” Pepper informed him. 

“That doesn’t sound good.” Happy opened her glass office doors for her and ushered her in. Inside, a well-dressed blonde man in a suit was seated on one of the couches in Pepper’s office. His blonde hair was slicked back lending an aura of sophistication and suaveness to the man. Bright blue eyes and tanned skin only added to his charm and when he smiled, bright rows of pearly white teeth that were the stuff dentists dream of could be seen. In short, the man was very handsome. Inwardly, Happy thanked every deity he could that Pepper was ever so shortsighted in rejecting this man. 

“Pepper!” the man greeted, standing up and walking towards Pepper when he saw them arrive. “Looking beautiful as ever,” he looked at Pepper dressed smartly in her pristine white pantsuit, blue eyes gleaming.

“Killian?” Pepper asked, her face looked shocked, “God, you look...you look great. I... I...I can't... What on earth have you been doing?” Pepper tried to take all of him in. The Aldrich Killian she knew was disabled, and now here he was standing in front of him able bodied and as fit as an athlete. 

“Nothing fancy, just five years in the hands of physical therapists. And please, call me Aldrich.” He smiled charmingly. 

“Uh...you were supposed to be issued a security badge.” Happy cut in, looking annoyed at the guy who was eyeing up his girlfriend like a piece of steak. 

“Happy, it’s okay. Stand down.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yes. I’ll see you later.” 

“Okay...I’ll just linger...out there.” Happy said as he slowly walk out of Pepper’s office, pointing to the arrangements of comfortable couches in the waiting area. Happy sat down, settling himself for a long wait because something just felt hinky about this guy. Seated across from Happy was a man he assumed to be Killian’s bodyguard. His badge said his name was Savin. He nodded at Happy as Happy pointed to his badge before he stood up and walked out muttering “Merry Christmas.” 

Strange guy. 

Meanwhile back in Pepper’s office, Killian had started his pitch. “After years dodging the President's ban on "immoral biotech research", my think tank now has a little something in the pipeline. It's an idea we like to call Extremis. I'm gonna turn your lights down.” the lights went down and in his hand, Killian was holding three sperical metal balls. “Regard the human brain.” he said cryptically before a three dimensional projection of a human brain lit up the room. 

Pepper looked up in awe at the sight. Years of working with Tony Stark should have inured to her to technological advances but she couldn’t help but find the beauty and the sense of awe that rose within her at the sight of something so otherworldly like this. “Wow, that's amazing!”

“Thanks. It’s mine.” Killian added. 

“What?” 

“It’s my brain. This is a live view of what’s going on inside my head right now.” Pepper looked doubtful at his claim, “Come on up. I’ll prove it to you.” He held a hand out to Pepper, helping her up from her seat on the couch. 

“Now, pinch my arm.” so Pepper did. The live feed of Killian’s brain lit up the moment Pepper did, surprising her to once again. “What is that?” 

“It's the primary somatosensory cortex. It's the brain's pain center. But this is what I wanted to show you.” Killian started to manipulate the projection, “Now, Extremis harnesses our bioelectrical potential And it goes...here. This is essentially an empty slot, and what this tells us is that our mind, our entire DNA in fact, is destined to be upgraded.” 

“Wow…” Pepper breathed out in amazement, while outside in the waiting room her boyfriend looked on suspiciously. Happy watched them for a few moments when the trilling of an incoming call from his tablet tore his gaze away from them. Glancing down he saw that Tony was calling him on the tablet. Happy swiped the tablet to answer the call, unknowingly angling the tablet too high on his face so Tony only saw his forehead on the screen. 

“Is this forehead of security?” Tony asked snarkily. 

“What? You know, look, I got a real job. What do you want? I'm working, I got something going on here.” Happy answered snippily. 

“What? Harassing interns with your incessant badgering? Haha get it, badgering? Because you’re so anal about those badges.” 

“That’s very funny.” Happy deadpanned, “let me tell you something, you know what happened when I told people I was Iron Man's bodyguard? They laugh in my face.” Tony laughing at him when he said that wasn’t helping matters either, “I had to leave while I still had a shred of dignity. Now I got a real job, I'm watching Pepper.” 

“Watching? Or  _ watching _ ?” Tony waggled his eyebrows outrageously. When Happy didn’t say anything but just fixed him with annoyed glare, Tony coughed awkwardly, “what’s going on? Fill me in.” 

“For real?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alright, so she's meeting up with this scientist. Rich guy, handsome.” 

“Right.” 

“I couldn't make his face at first, right? You know I'm good with faces.” 

“Uh huh. The best.” 

“Yeah. Well, so I run his credentials, I make him as Aldrich Killian. We actually met the guy back in... where were we in '99? The science conference?” 

“In Switzerland.” Tony confirmed. 

“Right. Right. Exactly.” 

“Well, I don’t remember the guy.” 

Happy rolled his eyes, “Of course you don’t remember him. He’s not a blonde with a big rack,” Tony’s face turn down slightly at Happy’s jab on his promiscuous past. He’s in a happily committed relationship with his own blonde with a big rack and a big heart, okay? 

Happy continued on, “At first it was fine, they were talking business, but now it's like, getting weird. He's showing her his big brain.” 

“His what? Is that a euphemism for something?” Tony boggled. 

“Big brain, and she likes it. Here, let me show you. Hold on. See?” Happy held the tablet up and pointed it towards Pepper’s office where Pepper and Aldrich were watching the live feed of his brain and standing closer together. Or so he thought but since Happy didn’t flip the camera all Tony saw was Happy’s face. 

“See what? See you watching them? Flip the screen so I can see them.” Tony ordered. 

“I'm not a tech genius like you. Just...just trust me. Get down here.” Happy told Tony. 

“Just flip the screen then I can see what they’re doing.” Tony countered. 

“I can't! I don't know how to flip the screen!” Happy shouted in frustration, “Don't talk to me like that anymore. You're not my boss.” he added sullenly. 

Tony started walking around his lab, carrying the tablet with him to his work desk. He stopped by DUM-E who was sweeping the glass covering one of Iron Man armors he broke earlier in the day, “DUM-E! Hi, DUM-E, why do you have a dunce cap on your head?” 

DUM-E chirped sadly, “You know you deserve it,” Tony told the bot, receiving a sad chirp accompanied by a drooping claw. “Hey. Hey! What are you doing round in the corner? You know what you did. Blood on my mat, handle it.” Tony told him, his hand gesturing to where the incident occurred. Thankfully, Steve wasn’t around to witness said lab accident or he would be fussing around Tony instead of halfway through decimating the workout equipment in Tony’s private gym. 

“Alright, I don't work for you. Now I don't trust this guy. He's got another guy with him, he's shifty.” Happy’s voice piped up again from the tablet, reminding Tony that he was still on the line with him. 

“Happy, relax, will ya?” Tony countered, attention already onto something else. 

“What did you say?” 

“I'm just asking you to secure the perimeter. Tell him to go out for a drink or something?”

“You know what? You should take more of an interest in what's going on here. Pepper’s... Pepper’s the best thing that ever happened to this company. To you, to me. And you...you're just ignoring her.” Happy sounded desperate, the tone of his voice successfully guilt tripping into paying attention to him. 

Tony paused his strides, “A giant brain, you said?”

“Yeah, there's a giant brain, there's a shifty character. I'm gonna follow this guy. I'm gonna run his plates and if it gets rough, so be it.” 

Tony laughed cheerily, “I miss you, Happy.” and he really did. Ever since he relinquished control of SI to Pepper and started to work on research and development full time, there was little reason for him to go to the office in LA. And with Happy’s promotion to Head of Security, the man was no longer his bodyguard, so he hadn’t been seeing Happy as often as he usually did. 

“Yeah, I miss you too. But the way it used to be. Now you're off with the 'superfriends', I don't know what's going on with you anymore. The world's getting weird…”

“Aww, honey. Just because I have a boyfriend now doesn’t mean we can’t hang out anymore.” Tony teased him, batting his eyes outrageously at Happy which the man replied with a roll of his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.” 

“Hey, I hate to cut you off, but do you have your taser?” Tony asked again. Blindsided by the non-sequitur Happy cocked his head in confusion, “Yeah, why?” 

“I think there’s a girl in HR who’s been stealing ink printer. You should get right to it.” Tony told him, then he opened one of the wine fridges he kept in the workshop and put his tablet and Happy inside before walking away. 

“Alright, now that that’s over and done with, JARVIS, where were we?” Tony approached his desk and picked up the syringe he loaded up with the micro-repeater implants. 

“Sir, please may I request just a few hours to calibrate…” 

“Nope. Forty-eight, that was as low as I was willing to go, buddy,” Tony injected himself with the micro-repeaters in his left and right forearm, wincing as the pressure of skin giving way to implants pinched his skin, “Micro-repeater implanting sequence complete.” 

“As you wish, Sir. I've also prepared a safety briefing for you to entirely ignore.” 

“So much sass.” Tony commented, “Steve’s been teaching you unbecoming aspects about human behavior.” 

“As opposed to the stellar behavioral examples you have so kindly provided since the moment of my conception, Sir.” 

“There it is.” 

“Sir, may I remind you that you and Captain Rogers are scheduled to meet with Colonel Rhodes for lunch at Neptune’s Net in thirty minutes? Captain Rogers has expressed his enthusiasm in finally sampling their famous Ensenada style fish tacos.” 

“This won’t take a minute, JARVIS. Alright, focus up ladies. Good afternoon, and welcome to the birthing suit. I'm pleased to announce the imminent arrival of your bouncing, bad-ass, baby brother.” Tony addressed the occupants of the workshop, “start tight and go wide, JARVIS. Mark 42 autonomous prehensile propulsion suit test. Initialize sequence.”

The Mark 42 suit lit up with Tony’s command as he started his experiments, “JARVIS, drop my needle.” 

The music started playing, “Time of the Season” by the Zombies. Tony felt his lips twitched up in a smile, remembering the last time this song was played during one of the hotter makeout sesh he had with Steve in the workshop. Witnessing Tony’s genius was apparently a pretty potent aphrodisiac for Steve. Tony moved his hips to the music then pointed the arm where he injected the implants to the Mark 42 on the corner. Disappointingly, nothing happened. 

“Crap,” Tony swore. He tapped his arm with the opposite one and pointed it again. Something must have happened in the interim because then pieces of the gauntlet, from palm to shoulder, started flying to Tony, wrapping itself around his left arm. Tony grinned at his success and repeated the same motion for his other side, whooping excitedly when the suit flew to him. 

“Alright. Alright, I think we got this. JARVIS, send ‘em all.” 

Suit parts started flying to him. First the legs successfully wrapped itself around Tony’s leg, then another piece of the suit flew too fast, crashing into the glass case housing another Iron Man suit. “Probably a little fast, J. Slow it down a bit.” Followed by another piece, the face plate, swooping down fast towards Tony’s face fast and Tony ducked to avoid getting hit. Other parts started flying towards Tony, the back of the armor and the crotch area attaching themselves to Tony with a little more force than Tony would have liked, “Cool it, will you, JARVIS?” Tony shouted to the ceiling, a habit he picked up from Steve when he talked to JARVIS, in annoyance. 

One by one, pieces of the Mark 42 suit attached itself to Tony until it became a complete suit with one remaining piece, the face plate, hovering in front of him. Tony and the faceplate was at a standoff, which was broken when Steve keyed in his passcode and entered the workshop to fetch Tony for their lunch with Rhodey. 

“Tony, sweetheart, are you ready to...go…” Steve trailed off, looking at Tony in the armor and the faceplate hovering in front of him, “what are you doing?” 

“Hi, Steve! Yup, ready, just give me a sec,” Tony addressed his boyfriend. Then to the faceplate he said, “Come on. I ain't scared of you.” the piece flew over to Tony who flipped in the air to catch it and finally complete the Iron Mar, landing on the workshop floor with finesse. From his side, Tony heard Steve clapping at a landing well-executed, his amazed laughter warming Tony’s heart and reminded him why he was doing this. 

“Thank you, thank you,” Tony bowed at his audience, “I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.” Steve just laughed some more, “That was amazing, Tony. You made the suit come to you, instead of having to suit up. I imagine it’ll cut down on the response time significantly.” 

“You know it, babe.” Tony winked at Steve. 

“Was that the result of seventy-two hours of no sleep?” Steve asked, eyes gentling with reprimand. 

Tony winced, “To be fair, I slept a whole eight hours last night. If you don’t count the, you know,” he waved his hand awkwardly. The nightmare and Steve being assaulted by the very suit he was wearing right now. 

“I know, Tony. I’m not going to stop you tinkering and improving the suits. I know you need to do it, it’s your way to cope. I don’t begrudge you that, I just want you to take better care of yourself.” 

“I thought that’s what you’re here for, Captain,” Tony asked him flirtatiously, “as my live-in boyfriend.” 

“I’ll do anything and everything that you require, Mr. Stark,” Steve told him earnestly, and Tony couldn’t help but melt at the warmth that Steve’s casual displays of affection always elicited. 

“That so?” 

Steve nodded. “Yup. Even if it includes finding a Christmas present that would top a giant stuffed bunny.” 

Tony chuckled at Steve’s words and took the hand Steve offered him to step down from the platform he was standing on for the suit’s test run. Such a gentleman, Tony thought fondly. Sometimes Tony thought he should feel annoyed by Steve treating him like a damsel, like he was still a woman. But he realized now that that was just how Steve was. That was how he expressed his love and affection towards Tony and he just wanted to treat Tony with as much love and care as he could possibly give. And if that includes pulling out chairs at restaurants or opening doors for Tony, those were small price to pay. Insignificant even. 

Steve gave him a sweet kiss as soon as he stepped down from the platform. His brilliant blue eyes glittering in the workshop light, captivating Tony. Even if he lived to be a thousand, Tony would never get over the fact that he and Steve found each other again, that they never fell out of love with each other despite everything. If he lived to be a thousand, Tony knew that the love he felt for Steve, and Steve for him, would outlast them. 

“I love you,” Tony told him, and was pleased when he was rewarded with Steve’s gentle smile and another peck to his lips, “I love you too. Now get out of the suit and take a shower. We promised Jim we wouldn’t be late and I really want to try some fish tacos.” 

“Outranked by some fish tacos. I see the romance has faded.” Tony huffed good naturedly as he gestured for the suit to disassemble and regroup inside one of the opened glass cases. 

* * *

_ “Some people call me a terrorist, I consider myself a teacher. America, ready for another lesson. In 1864 in Sand Creek Colorado the U.S. military waited till the friendly Cheyenne braves all gone hunting, waited to attack and slaughter their families left behind, and claim their land. Thirty-nine hours ago the Ali Al Salem Air Base in Kuwait was attacked. I...I...I did that. A quaint military church filled with wives and children, of course. The soldiers were out on maneuver, the braves were away. President Ellis you continue to resist my attempts to educate you, sir. And now, you've missed me again. You know who I am, you don't know where I am, and you'll never see me coming.” _

The footage ended and the news started back up, discussing and dissecting what the Mandarin had said in his latest video claiming responsibility for the bombing in an American military installation in Kuwait. Steve, Tony and Rhodey were all congregated around a table inside the Neptune’s Net, just finishing up their lunch. Well, Tony and Rhodey were finished, Steve was up for more food despite the three orders of fish tacos, a bowl of clam chowder plus bread bowl and crab cake that he had. He was eyeing Tony’s unfinished plate of fish and chips, certain that Tony would end up sliding the plate Steve’s direction. His lover never finished any food that he ordered, claiming he was full after eating two bites of food and relegating the rest to Steve’s bottomless pit of a stomach. 

If there was one thing that Steve enjoyed about the future, in addition to being able to be with Tony again and be open about their relationship, Steve would have to say it was the food. Seventy years seemed to be plenty of time for the culinary world to evolve from the one he knew and grew up with to this amazing cornucopia of delectable flavors. If Steve thought the food in New York City circa 1942 was a melting pot of great flavors, then today’s food was an even richer, diverse and a mind blowing melting pot. It’s as if the whole world had converge in the United States and chipped in to create the entire food scene of the United States. And with his never ending curiosity and perpetual hunger, Steve was more than happy to eat his way through all the cuisines the new demographic of the United States had to offer and Tony was more than happy to indulge him. 

Tony wasn’t as big of an eater as Steve, joking that he needed to keep his hot body in shape or else Steve wouldn’t want him anymore (insert eyerolling here) but he would always accompany Steve to whichever restaurant he wanted to try that day for lunch or dinner. Steve couldn’t ask for a better partner. Tony was always so indulgent of his whims. He took Steve on a trip around after Steve expressed a desire to see the country and explore how much it had changed in seventy years. He was always so kind and so generous to Steve, so supportive and Steve longed to do the same for him. 

The last couple of months Tony was dealing with shell-shock frequent nightmares. His lover tried hard to hide it from Steve, putting on a show that everything was fine and dandy but Steve knew otherwise. His obsessive tinkering was a manifestation of Tony trying to take control of one aspect in his life that he could since he couldn’t control his nightmares. 

Steve didn’t know what was it Tony dreamed about, but he bet his bottom dollar that it had something to do with what he saw when he went into space. The continuous improvements on the armors and Tony amassing a huge catalog of Iron Man armors pointed to Tony seeing something threatening in space and right now, Tony was just trying to prepare. To protect himself from whatever threat he saw coming. 

And Steve would be there with him every step of the way, regardless of whether or not the threat was real. Together was the only way to be. 

On the television, President Ellis briefly outlined his strategy to combat the Mandarin, “Central to my Administration's response to this terrorist event, is a newly minted resource. I know him as Colonel James Rhodes, the American people will soon know him as the Iron Patriot.” 

The man called ‘Iron Patriot’ was currently enjoying lunch with them in a seaside cafe in Malibu. Hearing his name and that of his alter ego mentioned by the President, he looked up at the television just in time to see Bill Maher then Joan Rivers made fun of Iron Patriot’s appearance. 

“Iron Patriot…” Tony scoffed, “For God’s sake, it looks like the Iron Man armor fucked an American flag.”

“Tony, my God,” Steve facepalmed, while Rhodey pulled a bitchface at Tony, “It tested well with the focus group, alright?” 

“I am Iron Patriot…” Tony deepened his voice in mock seriousness. 

“Look, War Machine was a little too aggressive, alright? This sends a better message.” 

“And what message was that? ‘We’re gonna patronize you to death’?” Tony rolled his eyes. 

“I didn’t know you feel that way about flag themed uniforms, Tony.” Steve chimed in. 

“You know what, babe, somehow you’re the only one who can pull off the whole patriotic superhero do gooder, spreading democracy and the American Way to the world. Probably because you don’t really care about the American Way and more about the ‘marching to the beat of your own drums’ way.” Tony grinned cheekily at him. 

Steve winked back at him, “You know it.” He was never that good of a soldier anyway, the first act that brought him his legendary fame was a blatant act of disobedience. Where people got the idea that he was a good, obedient, mindless soldier who followed orders unquestioningly, Steve had no idea. Must be the propaganda. 

“You’re just saying that because he’s your ride home,” Rhodey said again, still snippy because Tony called his suit out as the unholy offspring of the Iron Man suit and a flag. 

“And because I still want to get laid tonight. Anyway, can we talk about this guy?” Tony motioned to the television, indicating their continuous reporting on the Mandarin. 

“It’s classified information, Tones. I can’t tell you anything.” 

“But _I_ have the necessary clearance, Jim.” Steve told him point blank, leaning back in his seat and folding his arms in front of his chest, “You can either tell us now, or I’ll just call up the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs to give me all the details which you know I will relate to Tony. Apparently I rescued his dad from behind enemy lines in Vichy.” 

Tony beamed at him, eyes twinkling with mischief and hero worship in equal proportion, “Good man. Here, you can have my fries,” Tony slid his plate of fish and chips in front of Steve. 

“You know I outrank you,” Rhodey told Steve grouchily, and Steve just flashed him a cutesy smile, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. Rhodey sighed and started talking with a lowered volume, preventing the other tables from overhearing, “Okay, there have been nine bombings.” 

“Nine?” Both Steve and Tony blanched.

“The public only knows about three. Here's the thing, nobody can ID a device. There's no bomb casings.” 

“You know I can help, just ask. I got a ton of new tech, I got a prehensile, I got a...I got a new bomb disposal. Catches explosions mid-air.” 

Rhodey pinned Tony with a look, “When's the last time you got a good night's sleep?” 

“Last night. Slept like a middle-aged baby in Steve’s arms.” 

“People are concerned about you, Tony. I’m concerned about you.” 

“Really? We gonna play it that way?” 

“No, no. Tony, come on. Cap, back me up here.” Steve remained silent at the two friends’ conversations, “He needs to take better care of himself. I’m not trying to be a dick…” 

“Can you sign my drawing?” two young children bounded up to them, brandishing a paper and a crayon at Tony, crude drawings of Iron Man and Captain America fighting in New York against the Chitauri could be seen on the paper. 

“Sure, pal.” Steve said kindly, taking the crayon and paper from the boy, “what’s your name?” he asked, then signed the drawing with a neat cursive of ‘Captain America’ for the boy. 

“Would you mind signing my drawing?” the little girl, Erin, judging by the name on the paper, shyly asked Tony.

“Sure, as long as Dick here doesn’t mind.” Tony couldn’t resist getting in the jab at Rhodey, “you don’t mind, do you Dick?” He saw Steve’s lips quirked up in a slight smile. His boyfriend was as much of a troll as he was, no wonder they got along so well. 

“No, of course not.” Rhodey conceded. 

Tony started to sign the drawing, but the scene it depicted, Iron Man carrying a nuke on his back, stilled his movement. Next to him, he could feel Rhodey started talking again, “Listen, Steve, Tony, the Pentagon is scared. After what happened in New York... aliens, come on. They need to look strong. Stopping the Mandarin is priority, but it's not…” 

“It’s not superhero business.” Tony conceded, his heartbeat started to pick up pace. Steve glanced at him from the corner of his eyes from where he was talking to the boy whose drawing he signed, no doubt he picked up on the slight hitching of Tony’s breath and how fast his heartbeat was becoming. 

“No, it's not, quite frankly. It's American business.” 

“That’s why I said...I got it.” then the crayon snapped in to two in Tony’s hand. Erin was still waiting for her drawing to be signed, and the only thing Tony could say was, “I broke your crayon.”

“Tony,” Steve approached him slowly and placed a big warm hand on Tony’s bicep, “Love, are you okay?”

“Are you okay, Mr. Stark?” Erin asked again. 

“Take it easy, okay, Tones?” Rhodey added. 

“Deep breaths, honey, deep breaths,” just as Tony started doing what Steve suggested of him, the little boy who asked for Steve’s autograph asked loudly, “How did you get out of the wormhole, anyway?” 

Unbidden, the boy’s words triggered a barrage of images and unwanted emotions in Tony. his mind flashed to the darkness of space, the army waiting for him up there, the coldness and how suffocating it was up there. And Tony was...he was scared. Abruptly, he launched off the table and ran to the men’s room, finding an empty stall and locking himself inside. 

“JARVIS?” Tony called out to the JARVIS he installed in his smartwatch, “Check the heart, check the...check the...is it the brain?” 

“No sign of cardiac anomaly or unusual brain activity.” 

“Was I poisoned then?” 

“No, Sir. My diagnosis is that you've experienced a severe anxiety attack.”

“Me?” 

A knock on the stall door tore his attention away from JARVIS. “Tony?” Steve’s voice called out to him, “Tony, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m--” Tony’s voice sounded raspy, Steve would know in a heartbeat that he was far from okay, “Steve,” he rasped out his lover’s name. 

The stall door swung open then, Steve ripped the door open as easy as one would have lifted a plastic chair out of the way, and in an instant he was in front of Tony, in Tony’s space, kneeling down in front of him while big warm hands cupped Tony’s face. “Oh, Tony,” he sighed, the amber pendant necklace Tony gave him a long time ago, when he realized that a sickly blonde guy slated for human experimentation would own his heart, shifted with the heaving breaths Steve took, “It’s okay, you’re here with me now. You made it out, you’re safe here.” Steve touched their foreheads together and Tony could feel him trembling. Steve was scared too, he was scared for Tony. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t-- I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” 

“You don’t need to apologize. You had a panic attack,  _ A ghrá _ . It’s common in soldiers who suffered from shell-shock.” Steve told him. Shell-shock, Steve’s old timey word for PTSD. So Steve knew, and now he saw just how weak Tony was. One innocent question from a child was all it took to trigger a panic attack. How pathetic of Tony. 

Tony rubbed his face despairingly, “God, I’m so weak. One question from a kid and I turn into a blubbering mess.” 

“You’re not weak, Tony. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. You’ve been through the wringer and each and every time, sweetheart, you get back up. You never gave up and a weak person doesn’t do that, Tony. Only someone with a strong will and a tough spirit could do that.” 

“Stark men are made of iron,” Tony repeated the rote mantra that Howard had drilled into his head time and time again when he was a little boy. 

“I have it on good authority that it’s ‘gold-titanium’ alloy.” Steve said, trying to cheer Tony up. And it worked, Tony let out a wet chuckle and nuzzled closer to Steve, laying his head on Steve’s chest intent on hearing the steady thump of Steve’s heartbeat. It always relaxes Tony to hear it, to have proof that Steve was here with him, in real life, and not just in his dreams. 

“We should probably go outside. Tell Rhodey we’re not having a quickie in here,” Tony said again. He felt more than saw Steve’s fond eye roll. 

“Come on, champ, let’s get out of here.” Steve helped him to his feet, “I’ll take you to Randy’s for some jelly donut.” 

Tony chuckled and kissed Steve’s lips, “You’re still hungry, aren’t you?” 

“Famished.” Steve admitted. Tony stared up at him, warm amber boring into bright blue, searching for something, Steve didn’t know what, but whatever it was Tony seemed to find it and pulled Steve down for a kiss, deeper and more intense than the previous one. 

“I love you,” Tony said after they pulled apart, “I don’t ever want to live without you. I can’t,” 

“Neither can I, Tony.  _ Mo shíorghrá _ .” 

  
  


* * *

_ Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles _

  
  


Happy had took it upon himself to investigate Killian’s man, Savin, after they left Stark Industries. Pepper had told him that Killian pitched her a project called 'Extremis', a serum capable of harvesting the human body's bioelectric capabilities, which apparently translated to a whole lot of potential for weaponization. Following Tony's zero tolerance policy for weapons, Pepper had declined to fund Killian's project. A whole day’s of sleuthing around resulted in him following the man all the way to Hollywood, of all places. Happy watched from afar as Savin, carrying a briefcase, approached another shady looking guy in front of the Chinese theatre, the two conversing in low voices. 

“Can you regulate?” Savin asked. 

“Yes, I can regulate.” the man said, looking irritated at the question for some reason. 

“Are you sure about that?” he asked again. 

“Yes.” 

Surreptitiously, or as surreptitiously as he could make an obvious drug deal out in the open, Savin handed the briefcase he was carrying to the other man, “Here. It’s a decent batch. Don’t say I never did anything for you.” 

“Thank you...for understanding.” the man said to Savin before he walked away. 

Happy watched from his hiding spot as the man, a junkie Happy thought, stared at the briefcase as if it held treasures untold before leaving. Happy started to walk towards him, then pretended to bump him to knock the briefcase open so he could what was inside. 

Happy bumped into him according to plan, the suitcase clattering open on the sidewalk, “Sorry, buddy,” Happy told him. The suitcase held a couple of vials containing some kind of orange liquid, Extremis perhaps, Happy thought distantly. Happy swiped one of the vials for Tony to run some tests on while he helped the other guy put the suitcase back together. Happy looked up once he finished, noticing for the first time that the guy was glowing red, which made him balk in surprise. Surely the lights from the lanterns weren’t that bright?

As he started to walk away, Savin caught up with him. His placid bland face was replaced with a knowing vicious countenance, smiling predatorily at Happy, “What are you doin', buddy? You out by yourself? A little date night? Watching your favorite chick flick maybe?” 

“Yeah, a little movie called "The Party's Over", starring you and your junkie boyfriend, and here's the ticket.” Happy showed him the vial of mysterious liquid he swiped from the suitcase, before pocketing it back. 

“That doesn’t belong to you!” Savin growled. He lunged forward to retrieve the vial from Happy, but Happy punched him in the face. To Happy’s disbelief, Savin healed from his punch instantly and started glowing red. Savin then grabbed a hold of Happy’s arms, and with one hand, the skinny guy threw Happy clear across the way. Happy felt the air knocked out of his lungs as he lied on his back on the pavement. He saw Savin advanced his way, clearly intended on finishing the job when the junkie from before yelled frantically, “Savin!” the guy was glowing just like Savin was before. 

“What?”

“Help! Help me!” he started glowing brighter and brighter, internally combusting, Happy thought incredulously, before he exploded. The human explosion rocked the entirety of the Chinese theater, destroying everything in its wake. Happy was caught up in the blast, his ears were ringing, his body hurt all over and he thought this was what dying felt like. 

Happy’s last thoughts after sending a prayer up above to give Pepper strength to carry on was that Extremis was one messed up superserum because Cap never glowed like a vengeful demon straight from the fiery pits of hell. 

Then, all Happy knew was black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foodie!Steve has always been a personal headcanon of mine :p


	3. Our heartbeats becoming slow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being AWOL, you guys. 
> 
> It has been a busy summer to say the least. My cousin got married and everybody in the family was ass over head busy running around taking care of last minute wedding prep stuff. Plus I had to travel back home for the wedding so I haven't had much of a chance for writing. 
> 
> But know that I read each and every single one of your comments. I really appreciate them. They warm my heart and soul :) 
> 
> This chapter is for everyone who have subscribed, commented, left kudos on this work. Thank you so much, everyone! You're the reason I keep writing even when I have zero work-life balance. 
> 
> Hope you like the latest installment!

Tony didn’t know how long he’s been sitting there, at Happy’s bedside. The news of the explosion downtown reached him and Steve as they sat down in front of the television to watch the evening news, and news of Happy’s injuries came in the form of Pepper’s frantic and tear-filled phone call about the tragedy that befall her boyfriend. 

They rushed to the hospital to find Pepper waiting there. Tear tracks marred her face, hair a mess and she looked different from the poised and graceful woman she was. She looked up when she saw them, futilely wiping away the tear that rolled down her face. 

“Tony. Steve,” Pepper rasped, her voice trembling and cracking, “thanks for coming.” 

“Pep, of course.” Tony hugged her. Pepper clung to him tightly, “what happened?” 

“I dont-- I don’t know. We were supposed to have dinner tonight at my place, but Happy was late. I tried calling him but he never answered. Then-- the hospital called me. They told me Happy was caught up in the explosion at the Chinese theater. Oh my God…” 

Pepper gasped, her hands covering her mouth, “He’s still in surgery. They won’t tell me anything more...what if he’s--” 

“Hey, Pepper, you can’t think like that, okay?” Steve took her by the arm gently and led her back to the bench she was sitting on. “The doctors are doing the best they can to help Happy. He’ll be alright.” He and Tony exchanged pained looks at Pepper’s obvious pain, the small whimpers coming from her slender form tugged at their heart strings. 

Steve hugged her, trying to offer what little comfort he could give to Pepper, who had become one of his close friends in the interim months after he and Tony got together. Pepper, who was the granddaughter of one of his brothers in arms, Dugan, who was so kind and supportive to him, offering tips and tricks for dealing with Tony’s many eccentricities. 

Tony watched Pepper cried into Steve’s shoulder, feeling helpless at the whole situation. He could have done something to prevent this, but he was so preoccupied with himself, with making the perfect armor, more armor to protect himself from his own nightmares. Sure, he felt safer but at what expense? One of his best friends got blown up by the Mandarin because Tony wasn’t there to back him up, and his other best friend was in pain, mourning because the man that she loved was fighting for his life in surgery right now. 

This wasn’t right. Tony was going to fix this, once and for all.    
  


Steve had taken Pepper to the cafeteria to get something to eat and drink, while Tony stayed behind to accompany Happy. He came out of surgery earlier in the morning today and Tony had been sitting by his bedside ever since they allowed visitors. He was loathed to leave Happy’s side, convinced that the moment he took his eyes off the man, the heartbeat monitor would flatline. 

While he stayed, Tony worked. He had JARVIS compiled everything he could about the crime scene by hacking into the LAPD and FBI’s network. Tony also scoured every inch of the internet for pictures and videos taken by bystanders of the crime scene. The more information he got the better it would be for the crime scene reconstruction he was planning to do later on when he got back home. Tony intended to find this son of a bitch once and for all. 

Nobody messed with his family and get away with it. 

The door to Happy’s room opened to admit the on-duty nurse carrying a bag of saline solution for Happy’s IV. She glanced between the two of them and shot Tony a small smile as Tony greeted her with a simple “Hi”. She worked quickly and efficiently to change the bag. 

Sensing that neither of the men were actually watching the television, she moved to turn the television off, but stopped when she heard Tony said, “You mind leaving that on? Sunday night's PBS  _ Downtown Abbey _ . That's his show, he thinks it's elegant.” Tony stood up from his seat, sparing one last glance at Happy’s unconscious form and vowing to himself that he would make this right.

He strode towards the door, intending to leave before he remembered something that would amuse Happy when he woke up, “One more thing...make sure everyone wears their badges. He's a stickler for that sort of thing, plus my guys won't let anyone in without them.” 

* * *

He fetched Steve from the cafeteria, and after Pepper assured them she was fine and would be staying at the hospital in the interim, they left for home. Or that was the plan until they found a mob of reporters, already waiting for them outside, ready to pounce on any news, eager to feast on the tragedy that befall them. 

The raucous sound they made as they shouted question after question at Steve and Tony threatened to overwhelm Steve’s enhanced senses before he grounded himself by squeezing on Tony’s hand, and the expected rush of warm tendril shot up Steve’s arm, calming him down. It was an old trick they learned from the life before: whenever Steve would feel overwhelmed, he would grab on to Natasha’s hand, squeezing it tightly and Natasha would send a flash of warmth up his arm, letting him know she was there for him, a lighthouse in the middle of the storm. 

Years later and they still remembered the little things like no time has passed at all. 

“Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark! Our sources are telling us that this is another Mandarin attack. Anything else you can tell us?” One of the reporters shouted at them as they walked to Tony’s car, already parked in the lobby by the valet. 

Steve and Tony ignored them resolutely, walking towards the car to drive away, when another reporter shouted a new obnoxious question. 

“Hey, Mr. Stark! When is somebody gonna kill this guy? Just sayin'.” 

Tony paused his move to get into the driver’s seat and Steve felt his hackles raised the moment that reporter’s obnoxious words came out of his mouth. Steve knew Tony would take this question personally, would see it as someone urging him to do something about this terrorist Mandarin. Steve braced himself, lifting himself back out of the passenger seat to observe Tony. 

While to the outside world, Tony’s face remained stoic, to Steve, who knew him better than he knew himself, it was projecting everything he was feeling inside. Tony’s emotionally compromised, one of his best friends was laid up in the hospital, victim of a terror attack. He hasn’t been sleeping well with nightmares and shell-shock plaguing him, and the next words or actions from Tony would be reckless at best. 

“Tony--” Steve started, trying to calm his lover down though from the tense set of Tony’s jaw, he knew anything he said to Tony would fall on deaf ears. The reporter seemed to know that he had successfully egged the billionaire on, and was holding up his smartphone to record Tony gleefully. 

“Is that what you want? Here's a little Holiday greeting for you.” “I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn't know how to phrase it until now.” Tony straighten up. He took off his sunglasses and looked straight into the camera. 

“My name is Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you. I know you're a coward, so I've decided that you just died, pal. I'm gonna come get the body. There's no politics here; it's just good old-fashioned revenge. There's no Pentagon; it's just you and me. And on the off-chance you're a man, here's my home address: 10880 Malibu Port, 90265. I'll leave the door unlocked.” then Tony grabbed the man’s phone and threw it against one of the hospital wall, shattering it to pieces. 

“Bill me.” Tony said, flippantly. He motioned Steve to get back in the car with a tilt of his head, acknowledging the look Steve gave him and bracing himself for the lecture about discretion and safety on the way home. 

“Giving our home address to a terrorist wasn’t a good idea, was it?” Tony asked once they’re safely away from the hospital, speeding their way home. 

“It’s not any worse than purposefully getting yourself swallowed by a giant Alien Leviathan to blow him up from the inside.” Steve responded evenly. 

Tony grinned at the reminder of what he did in the Battle of New York, “It was pretty cool, though. You can’t deny that.” 

“It was pretty swell, yes.” 

“Swell.” Tony shook his head fondly, “You and your forties slang. So adorable.” 

“Flattery’s not gonna distract me from the fact that you just painted a bullseye on our backs. Tony, what were you thinking?” Steve scolded him, his voice raising with tension and anger, “I know you’re not big on having a plan of attack, but even for you this is beyond reckless. Who the hell knows what could happen next!” 

“I was thinking that I’m sick and tired of hiding, Steve!” Tony responded harshly, “What the hell good are we as Avengers if we can’t even prevent the people closest to us from getting hurt? What is the point of being a ‘hero’ if you can’t protect the people you love the most?!” Tony’s chest was heaving with the force of his fury. 

“I know you’re frustrated and I know you’re hurting, darling.” Steve exhaled a deep breath, placing his hand tentatively on Tony’s nape in a gesture of comfort, “I can’t say that I’m fine with what you just did, but I understand. I understand your anger, and that thirst for vengeance. I felt it before.” 

Steve paused, remembering the all-consuming need to destroy, to kill, to make everyone feel even an ounce of the pain he felt inside on the days following Natasha’s death. How much he wanted to lash out at the people telling him they’re sorry for his loss. Rote words that meant nothing and offered nothing to him and his grief. 

Tony knew that look. That vacant look in Steve’s face meant he was remembering something from the past, something painful. Something that had to do with Tony’s previous death. Nothing could bring the cloud of gloom over Steve quite like remembering those dark days. Steve still wouldn’t tell him what occurred in the days after, and Tony wouldn’t push him. 

“I was angry, Tony. I was angry and suicidal. And in my desperation, I became reckless and I got Bucky killed. Peggy could say all she wanted about giving Bucky the dignity of his choice, but the fact of the matter is my recklessness killed Bucky. If I wasn’t so focused on getting Zola and stopping the train, I would have noticed that soldier with the blaster. I could have prevented Bucky’s fall. Bucky’s dead because of me, and that’s the gospel truth.” 

And that was all Tony was willing to listen of Steve’s seventy year long self-flagellation. He pulled the car over to the side of the road, ignoring the chorus of angry honks from the cars behind him and put the car in park. 

Tony turned to Steve and grabbed that beloved face in his hand and said to him, “Unless you’re the one who actually pushed Bucky off that train, then his death is not in any way, shape or form, your fault. You hear me? And neither was mine! Didn’t you read my letter? There was nothing you could have done.” 

Steve’s blue eyes bore into his amber ones as Tony pressed their foreheads together, “I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.” Steve whispered, “If I lose you, Tony, I couldn’t bear it. Not again. So please, please. For me. Think twice about what you’re planning to do next. I beg of you.” 

Tony felt his heart beat a thousand beats per minute as he heard Steve’s heart wrenching pleas. The fear in his eyes, an emotion one didn’t usually associate with Captain America, impressed the severity of the situation on Tony. 

As Natasha, there were limitations to what she could do. While she could make the best weapon for Steve to use in the battle field, she couldn’t fight not like Iron Man could. She could heal Steve before the serum, but after the serum, he no longer needed her to. She couldn’t protect Steve, couldn’t watch Steve’s six the way Tony could now. Now that was no longer an issue. 

“I promise. I promise, Steve. For you. Anything for you.” Steve ripped his seatbelt and hauled him bodily across the car to settle Tony on his lap. Steve’s buried his face in Tony’s neck while Tony buried his fingers in Steve’s perfectly coiffed blonde hair and hugged him so close and so tight to his body that Tony didn’t know where he ended and where Steve began. 

Steve was Tony’s life. And Tony was Steve’s life. One couldn’t exist without the other. And Tony would do his best to make sure nothing ever happened to upset that balance. 

* * *

Tony put the entire house on total security lockdown as soon as he got home, yelling at JARVIS to not let anything enter or leave while he and Steve were in. As he went down to the basement, he caught a sliver of conversation Steve was having with someone from SHIELD, maybe Fury, updating them on the situation on the ground and no doubt catching heat for the stunt Tony just pulled earlier in the hospital. 

Tony pursed his lips in annoyance at the fact that Fury was berating Steve over what was essentially was Tony’s fault, though Steve seemed to take it in stride. He just flashed Tony a kind smile and pressed a kiss to Tony’s forehead before moving away to make the call somewhere else. 

Right, it’s time for Tony to start making things right. Starting with finding out what the hell happened to Happy. 

“I've compiled a Mandarin database for you, sir. Drawn from S.H.I.E.L.D., F.B.I., and C.I.A. intercepts. Initiating virtual crime scene reconstruction.” JARVIS informed him as Tony entered the workshop, blue holographs showing the terabytes of data JARVIS was analyzing floating everywhere. The floor of the workshop was blanketed by red holographs showing the reconstruction of the explosion crime scene. 

“Okay, what do we got here?” Tony asked as he walked closer to the Mandarin database JARVIS created, “His name is an ancient Chinese war mantle, meaning "adviser to the King". South American insurgency tactics, talks like a Baptist preacher. There's lots of pageantry going on here...lots of theater.” Tony glanced at the virtual crime scene, noting the inconspicuous Chinese theater in the background of all the chaos created by the explosion. 

“The heat from the blast was in excess of 3000 degrees Celsius. Any subjects within 12.5 yards were vaporized instantly,” JARVIS said as the simulation erased people, cars, anything that was within close proximity to the bomb. Tony closed his eyes in deep relief. Happy had been damn lucky that he wasn’t anywhere within the blast zone. 

“No bomb parts found in a three mile radius of the Chinese theater.” Tony noted. The excessive heat created by the blast and the mysterious absence of any device that created the blast brought to mind what Rhodey told him and Steve just a few hours before. 

“No, Sir.” JARVIS confirmed. 

“Talk to me, Happy.” Tony muttered to himself. In the virtual reconstruction, Tony saw that Happy pointing his finger at some dog tags. Huh, Tony thought, that was new and could be a big clue since Happy wasn’t found with any dog tags anywhere near him. 

“When is a bomb not a bomb?” Tony wondered. The mystery of the missing bomb parts was bugging him. Though one could argue that since it was nearest to the blast, it would be vaporized instantly, just like anything else around it, or exploded with the bomb. But that dog tag, why was it there? Was it part of the bomb? 

Tony zoomed in on the virtual image of the dog tags to investigate them further and asked JARVIS, “Any military victims?” 

“Not according to public records, Sir.” 

A thermogenic signature like the one generated from this bomb is unique. Nothing in excess of 3,000 degrees Celcius could escape notice unless someone wasn’t looking for it because they were distracted by other things. Or thought the explosion wasn’t worth reporting because they were too distracted by the theatrics of the Mandarin attacks. 

“Bring up the thermogenic signatures again, factor in three thousand degrees.” JARVIS started the analysis at Tony’s prompting. Heat spots started to appear all over the contiguous American map. And would you look at that? Definitely more than the nine incidents Rhodey talked about. 

“The oracle cloud has completed analysis. Accessing satellites and plotting the last twelve months of thermogenic occurrence now.” JARVIS announced once the analysis was done. 

“Take away everywhere that there's been a Mandarin attack.” The number of heat spots decreased, leaving only one. Tony pointed at the lone hotspot, “That. You sure that's not one of his?”

“It predates any known Mandarin attack. The incident was the use of a bomb to assist a suicide.” 

“Bring it around.” 

“The heat signature is remarkably similar. Three thousand degrees Celsius.” without prompting, JARVIS immediately streamed all the information he could find on the blast occuring in Rose Hill, Tennessee to Tony. . 

“That's two military guys. Ever been to Tennessee, JARVIS?”

“Creating a flight plan for Tennessee.” JARVIS started to chart a flight course to Tennessee for the Iron Man armor and prepped the armor for Tony. 

“Let Steve know where we’re going, will you?” Tony told JARVIS after he was firmly inside the Iron Man suit. Steve being pissed at him would be an understatement, but he had to do this. He had to get to the bottom of this. It was the only way he could ensure Steve’s safety. 

He was just about to power up the repulsor to take flight when the doorbell rang, shocking him to stop. “Are we still at "ding-dong"? We're supposed to be on total security lock down. Come on, I threatened a terrorist. Who the hell is that?” Tony went up the stairs to open the door, looking at the monitor to see someone from his past, an old one night stand who happened to be a botanist, Maya Hansen, standing outside his front door. 

Great. Just what Tony needed. 

“There's only so much I can do, Sir, when you give the world's press your home address.” 

“Right there’s fine.” Tony told Maya, signalling for her to stop with his hand, “You’re not the Mandarin, are you? Are you?” Tony peered at her. 

“You don’t remember me, do you?” Maya countered with a question of her own. 

Please, Tony only had room for one person in his head and it was most definitely not the woman in front of him. 

“Don't take it personally, I don't remember what I had for breakfast.” he said flippantly, to which JARVIS responded to, “Gluten-free waffles, sir.”

“Listen, I need to be alone with you,” Maya started to say, she looked anxious for reasons that eluded Tony, but was making him suspicious. 

“Normally, I’d go for that sort of thing, but now I'm in a committed relationship.” Tony walked away from her to the living room, Maya following behind him, when he was halted by two go bags falling from the sky to floor, “...with him.” he finished. 

“Tony, honey, is someone here?” Steve’s voice floated down the stairs. 

“Uh, yeah.It's Maya Hansen. Old botanist pal that I used to know. Barely,” Tony stepped out of his Iron Man suit and turned to Maya, whispering to her, “There’s not a twelve year old out in the car, is there?” 

“He’s thirteen.” Maya deadpanned, “And no, I need your help.” 

“Yeah, you and a million other people in the world. What for? And why now?” 

“Because I read the papers, and, frankly, I don't think you'll last the week.” 

“We’ll be fine.” Tony dismissed her claims as he heard Steve’s footsteps approaching them. 

“I'm so sorry. With Happy in the hospital, I didn't know we were expecting guests.” Steve had reached the living room, and saw Tony with his guest, an unknown woman who looked rather anxious about being at their home. He plastered on what Tony called his ‘press smile’ and offered his hand out for a handshake, “Steve Rogers. And you are?” 

“Maya Hansen.” she answered politely, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Captain. I’m a big fan.” 

“She was just leaving.” Tony interrupted, not wanting Maya to say anything about what occurred between them all those years ago. While Steve was fully aware of Tony’s previous escapades, Tony wasn’t really keen on reminiscing about that part of his life with Steve. It just felt wrong, to talk about his trysts with someone who wasn’t Steve, regardless of the fact that for everybody he slept with, he had to imagine it was the blonde man of his dreams, Steve, who was there with him instead of them. 

“Oh, you are? So are we.” Steve said again. 

“Great idea! Let’s leave now!” Maya looked ecstatic as she reached forward to grab the go-bags Steve threw down earlier. 

“We are? Where are we going? Please don’t touch our bags!” Tony 

“SHIELD safe house in an undisclosed location. Romanov’s inbound with the jet to take us there.” 

“What? No! Steve, we have to stay here. It’s the safest place in the world!” Tony interjected. 

“You can’t be seriously saying that the place you told the terrorist to attack to be the safest place in the world?” Steve asked, his eyebrow raising in incredulity. 

“Well if you put it like that, that sounds dumb...but I have all my armors here, Steve. I can protect you better here.” 

“Be that as it may, Tony, we’re not ready to take ‘em on, just the two of us. Let’s go underground, regroup and we figure out how to deal with this with a team. Remember the Avengers? Earth’s Mightiest Heroes sort of thing, of which we’re a part of?” 

Tony sighed, “This isn’t their fight, Steve. If they come here, they’ll just get involved with this shit and more people will get hurt.” 

“Tony, we are leaving the house; that's not even up for discussion.” Steve told him once and for all, emphasizing his words by crossing his arms across his chest. 

“Steve, no. Leaving is a terrible idea.” Tony was nothing if not stubborn, matched only by the Supersoldier in front of him, and he would have the last word. 

Their standoff was interrupted by Maya hesitantly pointing out, “Hey, guys, can we um…” she pointed to something far off in the distance for Steve and Tony to look at. When they turned around to see what it was, a bomb was flying towards the mansion and in a split second an explosion rocked them and suddenly everything around them exploded. 

Tony felt his body hitting the floor hard, knocking the wind out of him. The walls and ceiling were caving in, and as they started to fall on him Tony turned his face away to avoid the debris, only to feel nothing falling on to him. 

“I got you.” Tony opened his eyes to Steve had shielded him with his body, bracketing Tony in a protective embrace. Pieces of concrete littered his back and legs, there was a trail of blood from Steve’s forehead. It seemed Steve slammed his head to the falling debris in an effort to protect Tony. 

“My hero.” Tony rasped out. Steve shot him a sweet lopsided smile and helped him off the ground. 

“Get in the armor, Tony. I’ll take care of her,” Steve motioned to Maya’s unconscious body on the floor, “And you take care of them.” Steve nodded towards the sky outside of their ruined house, and Tony turned to see three helicopters with machine guns hovering outside, aiming at them. 

“Got it, Cap.” 

“Get out as soon as you can, Shellhead.” Steve said again, then hefted Maya out of the way just in time for the first helicopter to start shooting. The house around them exploded to pieces under the barrage of bullets and Tony aimed his arm, shooting his own missile at the helicopter, incinerating one of them. 

“That’s one.” 

“Sir, Captain Rogers and Miss Hansen are off the structure. This suit is not combat-ready, Sir. Please exit the property immediately.” 

“A bit busy here, J!” Tony yelled out. He grabbed his mother’s grand piano and swung it at the second helicopter. The piano hit the target and both plummeted down to the water below. 

“That’s two.” 

The third helicopter kept shooting at the house. More and more of structural integrity was compromised and Tony could feel the house tilting downward. The ominous groaning sound as the house slid further down off the cliff, along with the rest of his living room alarmed Tony. One by one, the pieces snapped and cracked until finally Tony and the house he built plunged deep into the sea. 

Before he drowned, Tony swore he could hear Steve’s voice calling for him. His scream sounded exactly like the voice he heard when he was fourteen and swallowed by a riptide. 

It’s nice to know that they have always been connected to each other, and always would be. 


	4. We lay here for years or for hours, Thrown here or found, To freeze or to thaw

From Mathematics, Steve knew that the sum of probabilities of all possible events occurring is one. From Tony’s long winded rant late one night, he knew that the probabilities of them meeting each other again after a seventy year long separation which included one of them in a coma and the other one actually being dead, was zero. Or as close to zero as possible, which made the fact that they found each other again a miracle. An act of God or a twist of Fate, as Steve, lapsed-Catholic that he was, would say. 

Or a quirk of the Universe bringing them together, the mechanisms of which Tony hasn’t figured out yet, as Tony would say being the agnostic that he was. 

Steve’s point was their reunification was something that was mathematically impossible. Yet they beat those mathematical impossibilities and found each other, stayed together and were happy together. Steve wasn’t going to question this glitch in the Universe that enabled him and Tony to be together again. 

But what were the probabilities of Steve having to witness his love dying, not once, but twice? This seemed like an event that should have close to zero probability of occurrence, but here he was, standing on the seaside cliff that used to hold their house, now an empty bombed out husk of Steve’s former life. 

He could hear and feel all the ruckus going on around him. Romanov, Barton and Hill arrived on the Quinjet minutes after the missiles took out the Malibu mansion and Steve’s whole world away. His throat was sore from crying out for Tony as he witnessed the mansion that was their home crumbled to the ground. He was vaguely aware of Hill directing SHIELD agents around the wreckage to collect evidence. Barton was helping them and Romanov was interviewing Maya Hansen who looked shell-shocked as she took in the destruction around them. Perhaps “interview” was a euphemism based on how Romanov was curtly and succinctly asking her questions about her reasons to be here. “Interrogating” would be better suited to describe what Natasha was doing. 

Steve couldn’t move, he found it hard to react to whatever questions they were asking him. He managed to give them the rundown of what occurred during the attack. Managed to tell them that there were three helicopters, shooting at them. Managed to tell them that he and Tony split up during the attack: Steve to rescue Hansen and Tony to neutralize the threat. He kept himself together during the first part of the briefing, but when he got to the part where Tony stayed in the crumbling mansion and it plummeted to the bottom of the ocean and Steve tried so hard, tried his damnedest to look at the skies, to look for that tell-tale red and gold streak that signaled Tony’s survival, his voice cracked and he hadn’t spoken a word since. 

  
  


He could feel Barton and Romanov shot him pitying looks, but he ignored them. They’ve been on a couple of missions together, and they worked well. But there’s still something that kept Steve from completely opening up and trusting those two. Perhaps the fact that they’re both spies, duplicity was in their nature. And Steve remembered Tony’s story about Natasha’s infiltration of Stark Industries back when he had Palladium poisoning and her reports after the facts. 

_ Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no.  _

Foolish. Iron Man and Tony Stark were one and the same. You couldn’t have one without the other. One side of the coin, with Steve and Captain America on the other side of that coin. 

Steve walked to the edge of the cliff, the rubble of his home littering the otherwise pristine coastline of the Malibu beach. The Iron Man armors Tony had obsessively built over the course of seven months among the ruins. Steve left the SHIELD agents to their devices as he scaled down the cliffs to reach the beach. SHIELD has deployed a diver to look for Tony’s remains in the ocean. Steve’s heart clenched at the thought. He had met his demise in the cold embrace of the Atlantic, and now Tony was subjected to the same fate. 

Tony’s fear of the water was something he knew, and something they talked about at length. To know that Tony’s last moments were spent in the clutch of something he feared and dreaded only served to push him further into his grief and despair. 

Steve knew he couldn’t stay here forever, and he wouldn’t want to. He had a terrorist to find exact his revenge on. But he needed a piece of Tony with him. If he couldn’t wait here for them to find Tony’s body, then he’d take the next best thing with him. A piece of Iron Man. 

Among the ruined metal skeletons of Tony’s armor, miraculously there was one intact Iron Man mask on the sands of the beach. It was an unpainted mask, must have been part of the newer Mark series that Tony and JARVIS hadn’t gotten around to modify. Steve picked it up and stared at the stoic visage of the mask. He’d give anything to hear a sarcastic comment or a witty one-liner spoken in that beloved voice. But he couldn’t, so Steve settled for the next best thing. He hugged the Iron Man mask close to his chest, curled himself around it and mourned his lost love. 

Faint beeping noises startled Steve out of his reverie. It was coming from the mask. Looking around to make sure he was alone, Steve slid it on. It was dark inside, illuminated only by the orange rays of sunset filtering in through the eye slits. Steve exhaled slowly, imagining and feeling how Tony felt every time he put on the suit. His lover had confessed one time that being in the suit made him feel safe and protected. That nothing would hurt or harm him as long as there was a layer of metal between him and the rest of the world, and Steve understood better than most how it was to want to feel vulnerable when the whole world was counting on you to be strong. 

“ _Retinal scan confirmed._ ” A mechanical voice greeted him as the HUD lit up. “ _Captain Steven G. Rogers._ ” 

“JARVIS? You here?” Steve asked with trepidation. Of course, he forgot about JARVIS. Tony would have made sure JARVIS would still be around to accompany him. 

“Yes, Captain. I have a message from Mr. Stark, addressed to you.” 

“Sure, play it please, JARVIS.” 

A pause, statics and then the most beautiful voice Steve had ever heard graced his ears, “Steve, Steve it’s me. I’ve got a lot to apologize for, I know, and not a lot of time. So first off, I'm so sorry I put you in harm's way. That was selfish and stupid and it won't happen again. Also, it's Christmas time, our first Christmas in awhile and I know you secretly think the rabbit's too big. Sorry. And I'm sorry in advance because...I can't come home yet. I need to find this guy and you gotta stay safe. That's all I know.” 

A pause, there were rustling sounds in the background indicating Tony was doing something, “And I just stole a poncho from a wooden Indian, my life is a mess. But at least I still have you so it’s not so bad after all. I love you, Steve. I’ll be home soon, I promise. Please, please, just go to the SHIELD safehouse, stay put. Although I have a feeling I have a better chance convincing the Dalai Lama to eat meat than you doing that.” Steve chuckled at that. Tony was alive. Tony was alive! 

The message cut off after that, but it was fine with Steve. He had proof, he had hope. Tony was still alive and they were going to bring the Mandarin to justice together. 

“JARVIS, where is he?” 

“Rose Hills, Tennessee, Captain.” 

“Tennessee? What on earth for?” 

“Sir was investigating the terror attacks credited to Mandarin when he noticed that there were more instances that could be attributed to the Mandarin attack than reported.” JARVIS pulled up the holograph of the heatmap he and Tony were working on earlier for Steve’s reference, “Rose Hills Tennessee was the location of the very first incident with similar heat signature as the other Mandarin attacks.” 

“And he’s there now because…?” 

“Sir was already planning on flying there moments before Dr. Hansen arrived at the house.” Of course he was, Steve thought ruefully, “The flight plan has already been mapped when Sir drowned into the ocean. I made the executive decision of initiating the flight plan since it has been planned initially.” 

“Thank you, JARVIS. You saved his life,” Steve told the AI warmly. 

“I am merely performing what my primary programming dictates: ensuring Sir’s continued and prolonged survival.” JARVIS answered matter of factly, yet underneath that Steve could detect the warmth and affection underlying JARVIS’ words. 

“How is he right now, JARVIS?” 

“Per my last observation, Sir had a case of mild hypothermia. Unfortunately I seem to have lost contact with my counterpart that’s installed in the armor currently accompanying Sir. The armor might have sustained significant damage during the fight and during Sir’s flight time to Tennessee, Captain.”

Mild case of hypothermia? Now the line about stealing a poncho from an Indian made sense. Steve just hoped Tony managed to find some kind of shelter in the meantime to recover and fix the armor. “Tony’ll find a way to fix it. I got no doubt about it.” Steve said with conviction. Now that he knew Tony was alive, the fire was back. He was ready for the next battle. “In the meantime, what do you say we go interrogate a certain botanist about her timely appearance in our lives?” 

“An excellent idea, Captain.” 

* * *

  
  


If there was one thing that Tony could do without for the rest of his life, it was drowning. Seriously, how many times in one lifetime did one person need to experience drowning? Tony would argue the answer to that should be zero. He drowned once as a teenager, caught in a riptide. Next time he drowned was during his three-month sojourn to Afghanistan, and now this. 

But at least this time he could safely say that as he fell, he protected the most important thing in the world. Steve. Steve was safe and he had to stay that way. And Tony would make sure of that by finding Mandarin and bringing him to justice. 

“Sir, Sir, that’s the emergency alert triggered by the power going below 5%.” JARVIS’ accented voice roused out of the slumber he unwittingly fell into and Tony woke up mid-air,his body hurting to kingdom come, and flying in the middle of the night towards the ground. 

“Whoaaaa!!!” Tony shrieked as he clipped an oncoming truck that swerved upon impact. His body, thankfully still encased in the armor, came hurtling to the ground and bounced on the snow covered ground, causing him to get thrown several yards into the dense grouping of trees on the side of the road where he finally stopped. 

Groaning in pain, Tony flipped himself over before noticing the ground he was laying on, “Snow? Where are we, upstate?” 

“We are five miles outside of Rose Hill, Tennessee.” JARVIS answered him promptly. 

“Why?? Not my idea! What are we doing here? This is thousands of miles away. I gotta get Steve! I gotta--” Tony admonished his AI. 

“I prepared a flight plan. This was the location.” JARVIS countered. 

“Well, who asked you?” Tony asked rhetorically, knowing in the back of his mind he probably had something to do with that. But first things first, “Open the suit, J.” 

“Sir, I may be malfunctioning.” JARVIS warned him, his voice crackling over the speakers, but Tony’s AI dutifully performed his command. As the suit disassemble, the wintry cold Tennessee air started to seep in to his pores, Tony felt chills crawled up his spine, his entire body shivered as it tried its best to warm him and Tony groaned. 

“Oh, that’s brisk.” Tony blew on his hand in an attempt to warm them up. As he looked around him, at the falling snow and those already on the ground he realized he was way out of his depth. Maybe opening the suit was a bad idea. 

“You know what, I think I--” 

“I need to go to sleep now, Sir.” JARVIS announced, his tone taking on the sleepy tone of a toddler as he and the suit powered down. 

“No, JARVIS, don’t.” But JARVIS powered down, leaving Tony to fend for himself for the first time since his inception. 

“Don’t leave me, buddy.” Tony whispered helplessly into the cold evening air. 

_ Now what, Stark?  _

Tony was alone, in a state he never visited in his entire life, completely out of his depth with injuries on his face and it felt like also along his torso. Steve was so far away from him now, in Malibu, probably thinking Tony was dead or something and mourning for the happiness he had enjoyed and lost once again. 

That wouldn’t do. 

Tony needed to reach him. Needed to let him know that he was okay, and that he was going to make things right. And that they would get to spend their Christmas together complete with the slow dance because he still haven’t gotten around to teach Steve how to slow dance. 

His armor was heavy as fuck, he found out as he pulled the dead weight of gold-titanium alloy across the icy ground. Tony walked towards a random direction of the town and wasn’t disappointed when he was an abandoned Texaco complete with a payphone and a statue of a Native American covered in a poncho. 

Thinking that he definitely needed the poncho more than the man, Tony took it off the statue and propped up the armor on the side of the payphone booth then he dialled. 

_ “Stark Secure server. Now transferring to all known receivers.”  _

“Steve, Steve it’s me. I’ve got a lot to apologize for, I know, and not a lot of time. So first off, I'm so sorry I put you in harm's way. That was selfish and stupid and it won't happen again. Also, it's Christmas time, our first Christmas in awhile and I know you secretly think the rabbit's too big. Sorry. And I'm sorry in advance because...I can't come home yet. I need to find this guy and you gotta stay safe. That's all I know. And I just stole a poncho from a wooden Indian, my life is a mess. But at least I still have you so it’s not so bad after all. I love you, Steve. I’ll be home soon, I promise. Please, please, just go to the SHIELD safehouse, stay put. Although I have a feeling I have a better chance convincing the Dalai Lama to eat meat than you doing that.” 

Message sent, Tony moved on towards the town. It looked like your standard All-American small town complete with a water tower in the distance. Mercifully there was house at the edge of town, unlit, signifying the lack of people at home and a garage. Tony broke down the garage door, and it turned out to be the perfect garage indeed. Disassembled car in the corner, a couch on side and plenty of tools strewn around. Perfect. 

With great effort, Tony dragged and heaved the Iron Man armor inside and onto the couch. He never imagined the armor would be this heavy. All those times he saw Steve move the armor around for him in the workshop and barely breaking a sweat, he’s seeing that in a new light. Just how strong was Steve? This was something that they need to investigate later. Thoroughly. Preferably with minimal clothing. 

“Let’s get you comfy,” Tony rearranged the armor, placing its arms on the arm rest of the sofa, “You happy now?” He sat down on the couch next to the armor, twisted its head to look forward then sat down next to it. 

Assessing the work table, Tony decided to make use of his time by working on his implant. If he wanted to find Mandarin and go head to head with the son of a bitch, all his gears need be in tip top condition. But first, there are glass shards in his arms he needed to take care of. 

Just as he was settling down with a pair of pliers to remove shards of glass embedded in his arms to get to his implant, a voice interrupted him, “Freeze!” it said. 

Tony looked up to see boy no older than ten with a potato gun pointed at him and a severe expression on his face, “Don’t move.” the boy said. 

“You got me,” Tony raised his arms up in surrender, “Nice potato gun. Barrel’s a little long, Between that and the wide gauge, it’s gonna diminish your FPS.” 

The boy fired the gun at a glass bottle that was perched on a wall, Tony looked on unimpressed, “And now you’re out of ammo.” 

“What’s that thing on your chest?” the boy asked. 

“An electromagnet. You should know, you got a box of ‘em right here.” 

“What does it power?” 

Tony hesitated. Showing this kid Iron Man would put him at risk, but right now he needed an ally and this kid seemed as good as any. Tony moved to the side exposing the Iron Man armor seated on the couch to the kid. The beaming smile on the kid’s face told Tony everything he needed to know. 

* * *

“Natasha, Clint, sitrep,” Steve commanded once they arrived in one of the conference rooms at SHIELD’s Los Angeles field office. They decided to leave Malibu for a more comfortable place to regroup and plan out their next move. They brought Maya Hansen with them as a person of interest, currently was sequestered away in an interrogation room while agents tried to corroborate her stories. 

“Still no signs of Tony or the Iron Man armor in or near the oceans surrounding the mansion, Cap,” Clint reported somberly. He wasn’t sure exactly what happened between the Captain and Stark during the Battle of New York. All he knew was that they emerged out of the battle in a relationship with each other. 

Now, Clint had seen some “heat of the moment” attraction that happened between agents, but the way those things work were usually exactly the way they sound. Heat of the moment. There one second, gone the next. There’s nothing heat of the moment about Steve and Tony’s relationship. For one, they’d been together for the last seven months, Steve moving out to California to be with Tony, rejecting any SHIELD provided housing. For two, they were inseparable. Steve went to accompany Tony to Stockholm to receive his Nobel prize and Tony came to DC or New York with Steve whenever had SHIELD or VA businesses. There were numerous photos of the couple on tabloids, on date nights, on grocery runs, at charity events. Their relationship, forged in the heat of battle and strengthen in the aftermath, was something Clint didn’t expect, yet at the same time made perfect sense to him. 

“Tony’s alive,” Steve announced to the astonishment of his teammates, “I received an encrypted message from him earlier tonight. He’s alive.” 

“I’ll be damned,” Clint muttered. Natasha looked as impassive as she usually was, but the small quirk of her lips conveyed her relief at the news. 

“Where is he?” Hill asked. 

“Rose Hills, Tennessee. Tony was investigating the Mandarin attacks before we were attacked. He had been planning of flying solo there and had a flight plan made which JARVIS used to save his life. Tony believes that Rose Hills was ground zero, the initial attack location.” 

“On what grounds?” 

“The similarity of the heat signatures. There might be more attacks than the nine attacks we’ve known so far. What have you gathered so far from speaking with Hansen?” Steve addressed Natasha as the one who managed to interrogate Hansen thoroughly. 

“She claims that the reason she visited Tony was to warn him about the impending attack.” 

“And how would she know about the attack beforehand?” Steve’s eyebrow quirked up incredulously. 

“She suspected her boss to be working for the Mandarin.” 

“What? Who’s her boss?” 

Natasha continued, “Aldrich Killian of Advanced Idea Mechanics. Hansen has been working on a serum called Extremis capable of rewriting the DNA’s genetic code, essentially harnessing the body’s untapped potential. Her serum is quite possibly the closest anyone has ever managed to recreate the superserum, Steve. She sold her research to AIM, thinking it was a scientific think tank that wanted to use Extremis for regenerative medicine.” 

“That’s not what they did, was it?” 

“No,” Natasha shook her head, “What wasn’t disclosed to her was that AIM was a military-funded think tank. They were more interested in weaponizing Extremis than developing it for altruistic purposes.” 

“ _ A new breed of super-soldiers, _ ” Steve muttered, exhaling angrily the words Colonel Phillips had spoken to him and his fellow recruits a lifetime ago. Seemed the US Army hasn’t given up on its mission in creating an army of super-soldiers. Steve supposed he couldn’t really blame them, they got short changed with only getting one super-soldier, and one that disappeared into an iceberg for seventy years to boot too. 

But something that Natasha said jumped out at him, “You said her boss is Aldrich Killian? Why does that name sound so familiar?” 

“Probably because he paid Pepper Potts a visit earlier this week. Asking SI for some funding for his Extremis project. Pepper refused him on account of the project having a high potential of being weaponized.” Hill looked up from her StarkPad, flipping the display around for them to see surveillance photographs of Killian entering SI’s LA headquarters. 

Right. Tony did mention something about an old boyfriend of Pepper’s coming to SI and getting Happy in a tizzy. At first they chalked it up to Happy being his paranoid self, but now it seemed like Happy was right in being suspicious of the man. 

“So, Killian visited Pepper to secure new funding, got rejected. Then a few days later his employee visited Tony. it’s too convenient to be a coincidence.” Clint added. 

“I don’t believe in coincidences,” Steve folded his arms across his chest, assuming what Tony dubbed as the “Cap is done with your bullshit” stance, “especially not when they ended with blowing up my house sky high and my partner almost dying. There’s a concerted effort to either force Tony to join the Extremis project or to eliminate him from the competition because SI refuse to take part in the project. And I intend to figure out which one it is.” 

“Clint, Natasha, stay here and keep working on intel for AIM. I need to know everything about Aldrich Killian, his connection with the Mandarin and what Extremis does. Maria, coordinate with the DoD and the White House. We might need War Machine on stand by. And somebody needs to let Dr. Banner know that his services might be required soon.” 

They all nodded their assent to Steve’s commands, eyes trained on him, focused on the mission ahead. 

“What about you, Cap?” Clint asked. 

“I’ll bring Hansen to the safe house. If she knows as much about Extremis as she says she does, I want Dr. Banner to pick her brain and get us as much intel on what this serum does. And then I’m heading to Tennessee, I gotta go see about a guy.” 

  
  


* * *

Stomach marginally full from the tuna sandwich Harley procured for him and warmer now in the old clothes Harley’s dad left behind, Tony and the kid walked towards downtown Rose Hill. His aim was to visit the crime scene and ground zero, the first place where the blast occurred. It had been made into a memorial by the townspeople. Flowers, candles and memorabilia from the dearly departed was placed on the ground. It lend for an eerie atmosphere, a place of savage violence transformed into a serene altar where the memories of those who lived were preserved.

Tony guessed it helped those left behind to deal with what happened. The scene of the crime was located in a hidden corner of downtown, smack dab against a wall. There were five shadows, silhouettes depicting the victims’ last moment. Five shadows, yet the reports claimed that there were six victims. 

“What’s the official story here? What happened?” Tony asked Harley. 

“I guess this guy named Chad Davis used to live roundabouts. Went to the army, got a bunch of medals. And one day folks said he went crazy. You know, built a bomb. Then he blew himself up, right here.” Harley explained, sitting on the snow covered crater in the middle of the alley, must be where the bomb was detonated. 

“Six people died, right? Including Chad Davis?” 

“Yeah.” 

“That doesn’t make sense. Think about it: six victims, but only five shadows.” 

“Yeah…” Harley conceded, “people these shadows are like the marks of the souls going to heaven. There’s none for him because he’s, you know...going to hell instead.” 

“Do you really believe that?” Tony challenged him. 

“Well that’s what everyone said.” 

Tony nodded slowly, not buying Harley and the townsfolk’s explanation one bit. The romanticized version might go along better to help the traumatized townspeople to deal with the tragedy that befall them. But there’s a more logical explanation here: only five people died in this attack. And whoever survived was the one Tony was looking for. 

“Do you know what this crater reminds me of?” Harley said, apropos of nothing. 

“No idea. I don’t...I don’t really care.” 

“It reminds me of that wormhole in New York,” the kid plowed through with his insensitive questions, not knowing the impact of his words was having on Tony, “Say, how did you manage to get out of that wormhole anyway?” 

Unbidden, images of a black void, alien army and a supernova flashed in Tony’s mind. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Tony told the boy, he could feel his heart rate steadily climbing up. 

“Are they coming back? The Aliens?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe. Can you stop? Remember when I told you I have anxiety issues?” To put it mildly. 

“Does this subject make you edgy?” 

“Yeah, can I just catch my breath for a second?” Tony tried to remember the breathing exercises he watched on YouTube when Steve wasn’t home. In, hold for five seconds, out, then repeat. 

“Are the bad guys in Rose Hill? Do you need a plastic bag to breathe into? Do you have medication?” 

“No.” 

“Should you be on them?”

“Probably.” 

“Do you have PTSD? Are you going completely mental? Should I stop? Do you want me to stop?” 

Tony stared at the boy silently, chest heaving with the anxiety that welled up within him. God, this sucked. He needed Steve, he needed his sole anchor to sanity. He needed something to ground him but he had nothing. Nothing to hold on to and he was lost, out here on his own. 

A whole lifetime of being alone and seven months of cohabitation was enough to show Tony that he was only half alive for the better part of his existence. 

“You did it now, didn’t you? You happy now?” Tony abruptly stood up and left the boy sitting on the crater. He needed to go, he needed to get out of here, find someplace where the trauma and the memories wouldn’t caught up with him. 

“What did I say?” Harley called out to him as Tony ran out of the alley towards the main street. Tony stripped off his outer jacket, his body felt too hot all of a sudden. He was sweating bullets and his face felt like it was burning. He collapsed on the sidewalk, snow cushioning his fall and he grabbed a handful of snow and eagerly pressed them onto his cheeks. A sigh of relief escaped him as the cool sensation of the snow brought him back down to Earth. 

“What the hell was that?” 

This kid, Tony thought annoyedly. Then he chucked a handful of snow at Harley’s much to the boy’s annoyance. 

“Hey!” 

“Your fault. You spazzed me out.” the kid didn’t even look remorseful after what he inflicted on Tony. What a little asshole. “Okay, let’s get back to business. Where were we?” Tony put his hat back on and stood back up. “The guy who died, he got relatives? Mom? Dad? Siblings? Mrs. Davis, where is she?” 

“Where she always is.” 

“Finally. You’re being helpful.” 

  
  
  
  


Mrs. Davis apparently has become the number one patron at Walker’s, the only bar in Rose Hill. Tony walked towards the bar, accidentally bumping into a young woman with scarring on her face who seemed to be too interested with holding Tony’s hand. 

Shaking off the strange encounter, he entered the bar and quickly found Mrs. Davis, sitting despondently in one of the tables, her son’s dog tag clutched in her hands as she sipped her scotch. 

Tony approached her cautiously, “Mrs. Davis?” he started, “Mind if I join you?” 

“Free country,” she shrugged. 

“Sure is.” 

“Where would you like to start?” Mrs. Davis said, her tone defiant. 

“I just want to say I’m sorry for your loss. I want to know what you think happened.” 

She was silent, seemingly mulling over something in her mind before she slid a thick folder across the table to Tony, “Look, I brought your damn file. Take it and go. Whatever was in here, he wanted no part of it.”

Tony opened the file. Inside were pictures of Chad Davis on his tours in the Middle East, a curious piece of report with the words “MIA” written on the top right corner in black Sharpie and a picture of Chad Davis and another private. “Taggart, J” was his name. 

Taggart. The name dawned on Tony. The dog tag found in the explosion that injured Happy was this man’s. 

“Mrs. Davis, your son didn’t kill himself and all those people,” Tony told her, “I guarantee you he didn’t kill anyone. Somebody used him. As a weapon.” 

Mrs. Davis looked astonished at Tony’s words. “You’re not the person who called me after all, are you?” 

“Actually, I am.” the girl that bumped Tony outside the bar slammed down a badge on the table between them. 

Tony gave himself a second to consider whether this was a good thing or not. When the girl wrenched his arms behind his back and cuffed him, he decided it was a bit not good for the baddies to incapacitate him. 

When the girl started glowing like the fireplace at the Malibu mansion and killed the sherrif and his deputy. Tony decided that it was  _ definitely _ not good. 

Ugh, all he wanted was to celebrate his first Christmas with Steve after being separated for seventy years. He couldn’t believe he had to deal with this shit instead. 

* * *

“ _ What happened? _ ” Maya asked rhetorically as Steve drove them towards the SHIELD safe house, “Fun fact: before he built rockets for the Nazis, the idealistic Werhner von Braun dreamed of space travel. He stargazed.” she chuckled sadly. 

Steve side eyed her, keeping her focus on the road but not wanting to let his guard down on the woman. “As I understand it, he did achieve space travel. After the war.”  _ Him and other Nazi scientists who were granted asylum.  _ Steve still didn’t know how he felt about his country granting asylum to scientists who clearly aided the Nazi war efforts. 

Maya nodded, “Do you know what he said when the first V-2 hit London?” 

“ _ The rocket performed perfectly. It just landed on the wrong planet. _ ” Steve answered her. Maya’s look of surprise amused him, “I was around when the V-2 hit London, Dr. Hansen. I read the briefings.” 

“Right. We all began wide-eyed. Pure science. Then the ego steps in. The obsession. And then you look up and you’re a long way from shore.” 

“You can’t be too hard on yourself, Dr. Hansen,” Steve told her, “You gave your research to a think tank.” 

“Yeah, but Killian built that think tank on military contracts.” 

“That’s exactly what SI used to do. And while a lot can be said about the defense contracting industry, not all of SI’s works under military contract resulted in weapons. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still glad Tony got out of the weapons business and into the clean energy initiatives. I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t judge yourself too harshly. Just focus on picking yourself back up. On cleaning up the mess. That’s all we can do right now, keep moving forward.” 

“Thank you, Captain. I really appreciate it.” Maya shot Steve a tremulous smile, “and I’m sorry about what happened to Tony.” 

Steve nodded in acknowledgment, not responding verbally. They remained silent until they reached the safe house. Maya got out of the car and Steve went to escort her to the door. 

“You’ll stay here until SHIELD deems it safe for you to be moved to another facility. If it’s alright with you, I would like you to work with Dr. Banner on the Extremis, I believe--” Steve cut himself off as felt pinpricks stinging his neck and he dropped to the ground like a sack of bricks. 

“Dr. Hansen, run…” he rasped out to the wide-eyed Maya standing, rooted to the ground, in front of him. 

Footsteps came closer and a hand grabbed Steve’s face off the ground for him to come face to face with Aldrich Killian, smarmy and slick in his grey suit and slicked back blonde hair. Steve snarled, his face twisted with fury. 

“Hi, Cap,” Killian greeted him with condescension, “Don’t bother trying to think the superserum’s going to metabolize the tranquilizer. They were developed specifically for our Extremis test subjects. They’re pretty potent, should keep you down for a bit while I have a little chat with my colleague here.” 

Steve grunted in response. His limbs felt like they were encased in cement, he couldn’t move. He was helpless, at the mercy of this egotistical maniac that tried to kill his Tony. 

“Mind telling me why you were at Stark’s mansion last night?” 

“I’m trying to fix this thing. I didn’t know you and the master were going to blow the place up.” 

“Oh, I see. So you were trying to save Stark when he threatened us?” 

“I’ve told you, Killian, we can use him. Look, if we want to launch the product next year, I need Stark. He just lacked a decent incentive, and now he has one.” Maya gestured towards Steve, lying prostrate on the ground. 

Killian seemed to find a valid point in Maya’s argument as he knelt next to Steve, a contemplative expression in his face, “Hmm, I wonder...what do you think would happen if we mix the superserum with Extremis? Do you think we’ll stabilize it, or just make a bigger explosion that the ones we already made? Shall we find out, Captain Rogers?” 

Steve spat on him.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaccckkk!!! 
> 
> Omg, guys, I'm so sorry for disappearing for so long. RL has been kicking my ass. In addition to research, I have to teach this quarter as well. But the quarter's almost over, and I have more free time now! Yay! Hopefully I can write more now. 
> 
> Thank you for everyone who has been commenting on this story in my absence. I admit I was a bit reluctant and hesitant to continue this series because I didn't see too many comments or kudos compared to my other stories. But you've persuaded me otherwise. 
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking around! More to come :)

**Author's Note:**

> Good? Bad? Should I continue? Should I stop writing?
> 
> Let me know your thoughts through comments and kudos! Thanks for reading :)


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